


A night on the town

by Llana



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert, Star Trek: AOS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2018-11-09 15:52:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 44,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11107827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llana/pseuds/Llana
Summary: Bones meets another doctor while on shore leave, a relationship develops from there.





	1. Chapter 1

Warning: Brief mention of sex

Maggie waved her hand in front of your face as you stared aimlessly at the screen before you. “Earth to [Y/N]. You alive in there, girl?” The movement startled you, as somehow you had not heard her walk into your office.

“Umm yeah, Maggie. What are you doing here?” You straightened yourself up in your chair and pulled on the lapel of your lab coat in an attempt to look like you weren’t half-asleep with boredom. She put her hands on her hips on her hips with that mother hen look she often got with you.

“You need a break. All these patients and boring files are going to melt that big brain. Come on we are going out tonight. Dancing, a few drinks, then we can walk home looking at all the pretty lights of York Town. I promise I won’t try to pawn you off on some random stranger. Even though you do need to get laid sometime this century.” Shaking your head, you stood up walking around your desk. 

“Let’s not talk about that. The last time was horrible and I have no desire to repeat it.” Maggie looked like she was going to stomp her foot.

“That is what I am saying! We go out have fun and go home a little tipsy and tired. No pressure for anything more. What could go wrong?” Your brow rose in her direction.

“I can’t believe you just said that. Something awful is going to happen now. I will blame you if I end up here with a broken anything.” She laughed as she jumped up and down. 

“Oh we are going to have so much fun. Come on Doctor Boring I have a dress that will look perfect on you.” Grabbing your hand, she dragged you through the door of your office past your commanding officer, who eyed the two of you warily.  
“I probably do not want to know. I need you in one piece for your next shift Doctor [Y/L/N].” Your cheeks flushed. Doctor Baush had seen you arrive many a time, for your shifts, hung-over after nights out with Maggie.

“Yes sir. I will be here, I promise. I have never missed a shift.” The man nodded once then went back to his PADD. She dragged you all the way back to her assigned quarters. Refusing to let you go home because she knew you would probably back out if given the chance. The dress she handed you was better than you had imagined. It was not trashy or revealing. The knee length dress, had a light skirt that twirled when you moved. It was a pretty aqua number with a black sash at the waist that accentuated your hips. You had to give it to Maggie she knew what you liked. She pulled your hair up in a pretty and easy bun then just put a little flair of makeup around your eyes. That was the reason she had become one of your closest friends. She knew when to push you but never pushed too far.

The two of you walked arm in arm towards the busy central commercial streets of Yorktown. Laughing and talking as you made your way through the crowds.

“Well, there must be shore leave. Look at all uniforms out tonight. Too bad we aren’t looking for some sexy Commander for you.” Maggie wiggled her eyebrows at you. You could only laugh and pinch her arm gently. 

“Come on you promised me dancing and a few drinks.” You pulled her into one of the lesser crowded bars. Lesser, being it was still packed but there was not a line around the corner to get in. A few shots for the both of you before you ended up on the dance floor for a few hours. While you were not drunk, your body felt warm and you had that normal pink tinge to your cheeks that happened just before you reached that point. That was your cue to cease the drinking. It felt awful waking up in the morning with a hangover. So you quit while you were ahead. You looked around for a few minutes for Maggie before finding her leaning back against a wall talking to some tall redheaded man. They looked to be in deep conversation so you made your way back to the bar. Just before breaking through the wall of people, someone tapped your shoulder. As you turned, all you could see were startling blue eyes and a mess of blond hair.

“Hello, beautiful. Want to dance?” The words were slightly slurred and he did not seem all together stable on his feet. 

“Oh no, pretty boy. I am getting some water and taking a seat. My feet are killing me.” You walked off leaving the surprised man in your wake. Thankfully, one seat at the bar was open between everyone trying to cram into the small space. As you sipped on your water, you turned back looking at the crowd and sighed. This was not your scene. It was getting to be too much.

“How come you aren’t out there dancing with that guy?” A voice asked from next to you. Looking over you found a dark head of hair and a half smile looking into his liquor glass.

“Oh you mean the pretty boy? Umm no. He is drunk and I don’t do the whole sleeping with a random stranger thing. I really don’t need to wake up with some form of the clap either. The hypos for that are not fun.” The man choked then spit out his drink. Raising a brow at him. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah. Yes, I’m fine. Just uhh, the drink went down the wrong pipe there.” You knew it was a lie but he was smiling wide now. He looked handsome with that smile too. “May I ask you a question?” You nodded at him, interested to see what the question was. “Why are you in a place like this with people like this? It’s a bar and people come to bars to drink and make fools of themselves. You don’t seem like someone who would come here to do that.”

“Well that wasn’t what I was expecting. But, I’m here because I needed a break in the monotony. I’ve been bored and needed a bit of drinking and dancing. Not looking for my soul mate or anything. Just something letting me know I am still alive. You ever feel like that?” The man sat up straighter on his stool looking at you in a way that made your cheeks flush more than they already were. It wasn’t rudely, just searching deeper.

“Darlin’ you have no idea. I’m Leonard, by the way.” He held his hand out. You shook it with a dip of your head. 

“[Y/N]. Want to go outside, and talk? This place feels like it is closing in.” Leonard smiled again, setting a credit chip on the counter. 

“Lead the way.” You couldn’t help but grin at him. After a moment to let Maggie know where you would be, you walked out towards a bench that looked over the lights of Yorktown. The two of you talked for hours. Finding it funny how much you had in common. You had attended the academy just two classes behind him and each of you had heard the others names in passing. Leonard had even read your report on Xenobiological sampling; published last year. There had always been rumors about the grumpy southern doctor in the medical circles you knew. However, he laughed and smiled easily with you. Before you both knew it, the sun was coming up.

“I can’t believe it. We have been talking for six hours. The time just flew.” You stood up realized how stiff your body was from sitting for so long. 

“Me either. But it was wonderful. After I get some sleep today, would you have dinner with me? I want to see you again.” Leonard had been holding your hand for the past few hours and now he gave it a quick squeeze. The hopeful look on his face made your heart melt.

“I want to see you too. I will meet you here at 1900. You better not be late, Leonard.” You leaned up on your toes and kissed him lightly on the lips.

“No ma’am. I will be right here waiting. 1900 hours.” He said quietly as he looked down at you. You fought the urge to kiss him again. It would end with you unable to pull away. You already knew it. Leonard stood there watching you as you walked off towards your home. The feeling of his eyes on your back did not leave until you turned the corner. Your heart was pounding in your chest. Your mind moving at a million light years a second.

“I need to see that man again.”


	2. Chapter 2

Warnings: Language

 

You rolled over in bed trying to hold the last remnants of sleep. However, the light that peeked through the drapes was not going to allow it. With a groan, you sat up trying to make your brain achieve some sort of clarity. The rush of the evening and early morning events came flooding back quickly. “Oh shit. What time is it?” You rubbed your face before looking over at the clock. It was early afternoon and there were still several hours before you were to meet Leonard.

Leonard. That damn smirk of his made your cheeks hot just thinking of it. A cold shower helped that and awoke the rest of your senses. You had only slept a few hours but you felt more awake than you had in ages. Two messages had been left for you. One marked urgent from Maggie, demanding you contact her to ensure you made it home alive. The other from Doctor Baush requesting the final reports for the outgoing crew physicals for the USS Tempest. They were due within the day and the ship would be unable to leave without them. “Damn, I completely forgot.” It was not like you to forget such an important task. There was no access to the reports from your home so you would have to go to your office to send them. 

You hurried pulling on your medical uniform and made your way to the medstation, trying not to run down the corridors. It took several minutes to upload the reports from your PADD to Doctor Baush. But you sighed with relief as they finished. You were able to focus on your impending date with Leonard. Distracted by the thoughts of what you would wear for the evening, you did not see Nurse Ravins running after you. “Doctor [Y/L/N]! Wait! Please I need you.” Turning to look at the woman, she was worried and quite out of breath.

“Nina, slow down. What’s the matter?” The woman handed you a PADD, the currently showed a medical file.

“There is a patient here that you need to see. I don’t know where Doctor Baush went and honestly unless it’s you or him, he wouldn’t want anyone else taking care of this patient.” You stood there confused. 

“We staff five other doctors, Nina. There are all perfectly…” The woman pulled your arm and all but dragged you down the corridor. 

“No, ma’am. You have to see this one now. I don’t care if you write me up for manhandling you. You have to see him.” You had never known Nina to be so forceful. This must have been a unique situation. You allowed her to show you down to the exam room. The door slide open, there sat a man with his head bent low in his hands. Stepping in you looked over the file on the PADD realizing who was seated before you. 

“So I guess having the name James Kirk gets you special treatment.” The head popped up quickly and your jaw felt like it hit the ground. “Are you kidding me? You’re the pretty boy from the bar.” His blond hair was going in all which ways, the tissue around his left eye was swollen and the sclera was red from many broken blood vessels.

“And you’re that woman that Bones hasn’t shut up about all day. He probably mentioned in there sometime you were a doctor. Just my luck as always. Look I am not here for special treatment. I wouldn’t let him treat me. He is a pain in my ass. But this eye was creeping me out. Figured I should have it checked by someone.” You grinned with a short nod in his direction. 

“Now I know why Nina didn’t want anyone else. The others would be too awestruck and be kissing at your boots. Sit back and let me look you over. I am going to go with you were punched?” Jim nodded as you stepped close with the tricorder. 

“A little misunderstanding with someone’s husband. But he looks worse.” A smirk appeared as he looked off to the side. Your fingers lightly pushed onto the bruised tissue, feeling for anything out of place or broken. He winced but did not move away.

“You are lucky Captain…”

“Jim, please.”

“Jim, you are lucky nothing is broken. Just soft tissue damage and broken blood vessels in your eye. I will be able to repair it all, with the dermal regenerator.” The task only took a few minutes and his face was back to its beautiful glory. “There you go Captain, uh I mean Jim. Just be careful next time.”

He hopped off the exam table and looked in the mirror. “Not too bad Doc. Feels a helluva lot better. Thank you.” You smiled with another nod towards him. 

“Anytime. Have a good rest of your day, sir.” He grabbed your arm as you started to turn away.

“Look, Bones is my friend. Actually, he is my closest friend. He has been through hell and he deserves good things. If you are just looking for some quick fun, he aint your guy. As much as I encourage him to be, he just isn’t like that. He is loyal to a fault and he is just a good guy. Don’t hurt him. That’s all I’m asking… Well that and don’t tell him I said that. Or that I came here. Listen this whole thing just didn’t happen, okay?” Jim groaned and rubbed his face turned around and pacing in the exam room. You could not help but smile.

“I don’t plan on hurting, Leonard. He is a sweet, caring, and smart man. I like him and want to see what there could be. So unless you plan to keep me from meeting him later you had better get out of here so I can get home and find something to wear. That could take hours.” You laughed as you motioned for him to exit the room.

“Thanks Doc. Glad to hear it.” He left quickly leaving you mulling over what he said. Leonard had good friends. It gave you a warm feeling in your chest that someone cared about him enough to make sure you had good intentions.

You were not lying when you said it might take you hours to find the right outfit for the evening. It was bad enough that you had messaged Maggie and she was now watching you change in and out of three different outfits. That had been narrowed down from five. You felt like such a child unable to make up your mind. She finally had to stop you and told you that you would be wearing the red dress because you were making her crazy. Well, you had to admit she was probably right. It went great with your long [Y/H/C] hair. It went just past your knees and scooped at your neck. It was pretty and classic. 

By the time you finished getting ready you were five minutes late. “Damn it. He is going to think I am standing him up!” Maggie kissed your cheek and watched you run like a lunatic out of the apartment. 

“Have fun. Don’t do anything… Oh, hell do whatever you want. Have some fun.” You barely heard her as you rushed down the street. By the time you rounded the corner you were fifteen minutes late. Nevertheless, Leonard was sitting there in the same place you had left him last night. You couldn’t help but beam from ear to ear. He lifted his head finally catching sight of you, returning the smile. Walking quickly up to him you hugged him tight, surprising him completely.

“I am so sorry I am late. I was… well I was going a little nuts trying to find something perfect to wear for you.” Leonard laughed into your neck a moment before pulling back to look into your eyes.

“Darlin’ you would be perfect in anything.” His words and that damn grin were doing a number on your heart. It was pounding hard enough, that you were sure he could hear it. You could not do anything else but smile up at him. “I have this great place in mind. I really hope you like it.” Leonard held his arm out for you to hold ready to take you into the night.

The restaurant turned out to be one of the few you had not tried since being in York Town for the last two years. The food was excellent, the wine was wonderful and you realized you had never been on a date with anyone who made you feel so good. Conversation flowed easy between the two of you. He told you all about growing up in Georgia then you told him about Maine and the beautiful winters. Leonard grumbled about the winters. He told you about a horrible year when he attempted skiing and ended up with a broken arm and leg. You laughed as you sipped at your wine. The waiter came up with the dessert menu. Of course, you wanted to look it over.

“Oh so you are one of those girls.” Leonard grinned at you over the menu.

“One of what girls?” You raised a brow at him, causing him to break into a laugh.

“One of those chocolate loving sweet eating ones.”

“Oh definitely. I could eat chocolate for every meal and still not be tired of it. You don’t like sweets?” You handed the menu back after ordering a piece of the fudge cake.

“Not really. I mean I like something now and then… Though my momma’s peach cobbler. That I could eat every day.” You made him tell you about his mother and this amazing peach cobbler as you ate your cake. It tasted divine and you almost felt bad for not offering him a bite. Almost.

 

As you left the restaurant Leonard started growing quieter. He did not have that easy smile as he had before. Almost as though he was going back into a shell. You were not going to let that happen. There was a park not far off, which overlooked one of the artificial lakes. Ushering him through the gates you held onto his arm telling him about an embarrassing story from medical school. The only response from him was a short unenthusiastic laugh. “Leonard, what’s the matter? You’ve gotten so quiet. Did I do something?”

“Oh no darlin’, not at all. I’m sorry. It’s just that tonight… well it has been great. Best night I’ve had in, well longer than I care to say. But there are things you don’t know about me. You will probably go running.” There was a look of defeat all over his face. You cupped his cheeks in your hands and forced him to look at you.

“Leonard, you are a good man. You are kind, smart, and according to your friend loyal to a fault. I am not going anywhere; give me the chance to prove it.” He looked down into your face for several minutes. So many emotions were coming and going in his eyes. Finally, he led you over to a bench close by and told you everything. About Joanna, Jocelyn, the divorce. Every horrible detail he kept to himself. You held his hand and squeezed it when you knew he needed it. When he was through, he looked at you. You could tell he was expecting you to run, but you would not do that. 

Smiling at him, “I’m sorry you went through all of that. I’m sorry you don’t get to see your daughter as much as you would like. But none of that is going to scare me off. I really like you Leonard. I mean, really like you. There is something here between us that is so real and wonderful. I’m not going anywhere.” Before you could say another word, he kissed you. Not the chaste kissed from the early morning, but a kiss that you felt down into your toes. Every bit of emotion from him he poured into the kiss, showing you both what could be.

Time stood still, or sped up, you couldn’t tell. But kissing him felt like forever and not enough at the same time. You weren’t sure how long the two of you continued on but neither of you were ready for the interruption. 

“Captain Kirk to Doctor McCoy.” Leonard growled quietly as he pulled away from you. 

“Damn it, man. I am a little busy.” He couldn’t stop staring at you.

“Bones, I know. I’m sorry. But we have orders…”


	3. Chapter 3

You stood looking at the group of Enterprise crewmembers as they were saying their goodbyes to York Town. The “orders” Jim has spoken of was the rescue mission of a vessel close to the Klingon border. Their shore leave had been dramatically shortened and would not be rescheduled to come back anytime soon. Leonard finished speaking with Commander Spock before coming back to hold you just a few more minutes.

“I am going to try everything in my power to get back here long before they say. I swear it.” He leaned his forehead against yours.

“I know you will, but you know how stubborn Starfleet is. Especially with one of their shining star doctors about the most important ship in the fleet. I will be waiting for you either way. This is too important, Leonard.” He kissed you lightly then pulled you tight against his chest.

“We will message every day. I will be thinking of you constantly, darlin’. Don’t forget that.” You nodded against his chest as you tried to keep the tears from falling. The two of you hadn’t had the chance to spend any more time together since your first and only date the night before. But that only made this all the more bittersweet. You knew you were falling for the handsome doctor and there was not a thing you could do to keep him here.

You pulled back looking up at him. “Stay safe, please. I need you coming back in one piece.” He smiled back at you.

“I’m the sane one on that ship, remember. I will come back for you. Always.” Jim made a noise from behind Leonard hating to break up the two of you.

“I hate to say it, Bones, we have to go. There is a time table on this mission.” Leonard nodded kissing you one last time. He stooped to pick up his pack and moved towards his friend. Jim smiled at you.

“I’ll keep him in line. But I may have Chapel sedate him if he gets to talking about you too much.” He winked at you as Leonard scowled at him. Jim pulled him along by the arm towards the docking area.

 

The days following his departure, were torturous for you. You missed him so much but he messaged you every day as he promised. There were some days you were able to talk in real time. Others you both played tag sometimes missing each other by mere minutes before or after shifts. The old Earth adage “distance makes the heart grow fonder” was certainly true. The feelings for Leonard grew with each passing day. Everyone you had contact with could tell you were a different person since meeting him. Your grandfather, whom had raised you since a child, was adamant that he would meet “the lad” next time he returned to see you.

A week after he left you received word from him that the mission had been successful and the Enterprise and its crew were safe. From there on it would just be mission after mission. No time to come back to this side of the quadrant. Unless Star Fleet needed them. You and Leonard started improvising dates over through the telecoms. Sometimes you would talk long into the night. He wanted to introduce you to his mother sometime and make sure you got to try some of her peach cobbler. Plans were being made to take a private trip to the mountains in Maine so he could see where you were born and grew up before medical school and Star Fleet. Leonard even mentioned that he had spoken of you to Joanna. She wanted to meet you some time as well. It was all wonderful and you were happy. Leonard made you happy and though you missed him and ached for a night alone with the man, you would not trade a moment of your long distance love for any time of not knowing him. 

Of course, you had not told Leonard that you loved him, nor had he said it to you. You felt like it should be something you said face to face. Not through the damn screen. Over the course of the months, it became more frustrating. As much as you spoke it felt like it was obvious that you loved him and you were fairly certain he felt the same. However, neither of you said it. After your shift at the medstation, you took a walk through the same park where you and Leonard had kissed that night. It was the last place that felt real to you and the whole relationship. 

You stopped just short of the bench where he had confessed his past. All the pain and hurt in his life, he told you. He told you that first night, trusted you enough that he opened his heart and shared it all. “Ugh I am so selfish and stupid.” You called out to the night sky. The man gave you his heart already and here you were feeling sorry that you could not see him every day. It was then you rushed back to your apartment and messaged him, telling him how much you missed him and that you had something important to tell him when you spoke with him next. Off the message went, and you waited for a response. It did not matter what time the response would have come you waited.

A response did not come that night, or the next day. In fact, days went by with no word. You sent several messages in the span of that time with nothing in return. The worry was starting to creep from the back of your mind. Leonard said he would always message you if they were able to. What if they weren’t able to? What if he wants hurt or worse? You heart pounded again in your chest as you walked into Doctor Baush’s office on the fifth day of no response.

“[Y/N], something I can do for you?” He had looked up from his desk. You nodded, as you bit your lip. Concern crossing his features, he motioned for you to take a seat. “What’s the matter, my dear? You look as though the galaxy is ending.” A short nervous laugh escaped you lips. He grew more concerned.

“I need a favor. I… have not heard word from Leonard, Doctor McCoy, in days. I’m afraid something is wrong. Can you please…?” Doctor Baush held a hand up to stop you.

“You want me to use my connections to check into the status of the Enterprise. Ensure they are safe.” The color had drained from your face as you nodded. He smiled standing from the desk, walking around to sit in front of you. “For you, I will do it. I will speak with one of the admirals that owes me a favor. I will report back to you when I find something out. Take the day off and go home. You need the rest.” He ushered you out of the medstation and sent you home.

You did not hear from him for another day and that was only to tell you Star Fleet had no contact with the Enterprise since you had. Command was already working on why that was. Doctor Baush said they would let him know as soon as they found something and in turn, he would tell you. Thanking him with a hug was the least you could do. You promised you would work hard to not let your emotions get in the way of work. But that was easier said than done. The days turned into weeks and the weeks into a month. 

By the end of the month, you were a shell of who you were. The whispers of the disappearance of the Enterprise turned into full talk and there was no shortage of theories. You cried every night when you went home. Maggie had tried many times to reassure you and be there for you, but after a while, she realized it was not going to work. You needed word, whether he was alive or dead. Not this void that you were living every day.

You were sitting in your office going over the last of the day’s notes when Doctor Baush entered. A look of exhaustion and sadness etched on his features. “[Y/N], they would not tell me why, but I have been told to have you report to Admiral Kaelen. I think it’s about the Enterprise. He has been my contact this whole time. I tried to get him to tell me, but he just said it’s classified.” Your heart dropped into your stomach as you stood from your chair, you could feel the blood leave your face. “Do you want me to go with you?” Shaking your head, you pulled off your lab coat.

“No, I need to hear the words on my own.” He understood, letting you leave on your own, though it hurt him to do so. You made your way to Star Fleet Command. A nervous looking ensign had been waiting for you. She escorted you back to Admiral Kaelen’s office as soon as you entered the building. ‘That can’t be a good sign’ you thought to yourself. The Admiral motioned for you to take a seat before he spoke.

“Doctor [Y/L/N], we have something we need to discuss. It’s about the Enterprise.”


	4. Chapter 4

You stared blankly at the Admiral, preparing your body for what he was about to tell you. Your knuckles white as you gripped onto the arms of the chair. “Are you alright doctor? You look pale.” Straightening up in the chair, you tried to look more natural, compared to the hollow mess you were on the inside now.

“I’m fine, sir. You were saying… The Enterprise?” Somehow, it had come out even sounding in your ears. He nodded slowly but looked at you with concern.

“Yes the Enterprise. You may not be aware but the Enterprise has been missing for just over a month. Contact was lost and feared the worst.” The thudding in your chest quickened as you clasped your hands together tightly. “We received word from them last night. The ship has been badly damaged and some of the crew injured with two casualties. They are requesting aid and new personnel. One of which is a new doctor, you specifically. Doctor McCoy was adamant about that. If you agree to the transfer you would be leaving on the Cerberus in the next few days to be one of the new permanent crewmen of the USS Enterprise.” You stopped listening after you heard the part about Leonard. He was alive. The thoughts running through your mind and weakened body were getting to be too much. You stood quickly from the chair.

“Excuse me one moment Admiral. I think I need some air.” You almost made it to the door before your knees gave way and you blacked out. Some time later, you awoke staring at a familiar ceiling. The sounds of monitors beeping quietly, around you. As you tried to sit up, a hand stopped you pressing against your chest, forcing you back down onto the bed.

“Oh no, young lady. You stay put until I clear you to even go to the bathroom. [Y/N], how could you let yourself get so run down? You are dehydrated and bordering on being malnourished. I missed the signs but damned if I let you continue like this. Crazy girl do you know this could keep you grounded from the new assignment?” Doctor Baush looked down at you with his hand braced on the bed. The threat of not seeing Leonard caused your heart to beat erratically. The biobed let you both know it. “Calm down, calm down. Take a breath for me before I have to sedate you.” Doing as instructed you took a slow deep breath in through your nose and exhaled slowly out of your mouth. The alarm fading as your heart rate decreased.

“Please, sir. I need to see him. Moreover, it is the Enterprise. It is an important assignment. Maybe once in a lifetime to be aboard the fleet’s flagship.” The pleading in your eyes did him in.

“Promise me something, my dear?” You sat up quickly steadying yourself now that you were upright.

“Anything.” Doctor Baush gave a short laugh. He picked up your hand in his.

“Promise me, you will take care of yourself out there. Come back to visit me sometime and tell me about the wilds of space. And tell that man… tell that man he had better take care of you too. You need someone looking after you. Might as well be another doctor.” A laugh escaped your lips as you jumped forward hugging him tightly.

“I promise I will do all of that. You have done so much for me over the years. I know I wouldn’t be here without you. Thank you.” He returned the hug then sent you on your way with strict instructions to eat a large dinner with an equally large glass of water. By the time you arrived home you had already send your confirmation to Command that you would take the post on the Enterprise. Next, you messaged Maggie telling her about your new assignment. She, of course, was so excited for you that she wanted to help you start packing that night. Along with an order of food from one of your favorite places, she came over to oversee the task.

The official orders came in later that evening. In thirty-six hours, you would be departing with the crew of the Cerberus on an aid mission bound for the Enterprise. Even though you knew it was late, you sent a message to your grandfather. More than likely, he would message you back in the early morning. You were not sure how he was going to take the news. It was one thing that you were in York Town. Farther than he had even been away from you since your parents died. However, the Enterprise on its long term mission to explore the galaxy. Now that was a whole other story.

 

The morning came quickly, as did the message from Grandfather. While he was not happy with the idea of you being so far out in the stars, he could not fault you for wanting to go. He wished you safe travels and demanded that you had better contact him often. Or else he would use his connections as a retired Admiral to come find you. You knew it was not a threat. He would do it, and that thought made you smile. The love he had for you was strong and binding. Nothing would ever change that. The rest of your day consisted of packing the few things you had not the night previous and getting the apartment cleaned up so it would be ready for your departure. By that evening, you had worn yourself out with cleaning and sheer excitement. Being able to see Leonard, again had made the light feeling in your stomach last the entire day. You were to report to the docking facility at 0500. Departure was set for 0700.

The trip was estimated to take forty-nine hours at half warp to make it to the Galos System. The Enterprise had dragged itself somehow out of a nebula is had been dragged into that had all but drained its power. They had spent the month trying to get word back to Star Fleet. So the supplies that were going on the Cerberus were desperately needed. Just as was her skills. One of the casualties had been a doctor. Leaving Leonard and Doctor M’Benga as the two sole doctors aboard. You, still, could not believe that you were going. It had been a dream for a long time to explore the expanse of the galaxy. Now it was coming true. The fact that you would get to do with Leonard by your side was icing on the cake. Sleep did not come easy that night but finally your exhausted body let you drift off dreaming of the days to come.

Time was dragging aboard the Cerberus. You had been here just over twenty-four hours and it felt like a year. There was only so many times you could walk around the small ship without going insane. The mess hall had very little room, so few people actually stayed there to eat their meals. You had taken to bring your meals back to your temporary quarters and staring out the port window at the passing stars. The only thing that was helpful while waiting was that you were able to catch up on needed sleep. The last thing you wanted when you finally got to see Leonard again was to be so tired you could not keep your eyes open. That man would be lucky to peel himself away from you for any length of time in the first month.

On the second day of the trip the captain made you aware, they had been in contact with the Enterprise. As medical personnel, you would be transported over first to the damaged ship to report directly to the medbay. Your skills were needed immediately.

Arrival time would be in three hours and it was necessary to pack your belongings soon and stand ready in the transport room at your assigned time. There you now stood, waiting for confirmation that you were in transporter range of the Enterprise. The ops officer standing ready, waiting on word from the bridge. “Captain Evers to transporter room 1, we are within range. You may begin transfer of personnel.” The ops officer nodded to you to take position on the pad. With your bags over your shoulders you stood there as instructed, feeling the familiar tingling and seeing the golden beams of the transporter. Mere seconds later you were staring at new faces, feeling your boots make contact with the hard surface of the pad.

One of those faces smiled up at you. Well any of them could have been smiling at you, but the only one the matter was Leonard’s. Seeing him alive and in one piece caused the emotional damn to break. You ran off the pad dropping your bags on the deck and jumped into his arms. The sobs shaking your whole body as you buried your face in his neck, holding on for dear life. He wrapped you tightly in his arms, running a hand over your hair. “It’s okay darling, I’m here. I’m safe. I have missed you so much. Shhh, [Y/N]. It is all right I promise I am not letting you go again. I love you so much.” His words causing you to pull back. The ugly crying quieted a moment. Leonard smiling that bright beautiful smile at you.

“You do?” He laughed rubbing a thumb over your cheek.

“I love you so much it hurts darlin. I have since that first night. I knew I was a goner when you came running around that corner all flustered and late. This month has been hell. Jim threatened to throw me out the airlock more than a few times.” You wiped your face hoping you did not look as bad as you feared.

“Leonard, I love you. I wanted to tell you so long ago but it felt wrong over the telecoms. But now I am here. I am going to tell you every day. I swear it.” He kissed you then. Just like, he had that first night in the park. The warmth coursing through you all the way to your toes.

“Oh thank God you made it safely, [Y/L/N]. I was going to have Scotty launch Bones out of the torpedo bay if he didn’t stop talking about you.” Jim stood there with a smirk on his face and his hands on his hips. “As much as he needs a good night in a quiet dark place with you,” he waggled his eyebrows at you, “you both are needed in the medbay. Still a lot of injuries.” You wiped your mouth still holding onto Leonard with one arm.

“Yes, sir. We are on our way.” Picking up your bags you looked over to Leonard. “We can finish later.” Leonard being the Southern gentleman he was took both bags from you, surprised for a moment at their weight.

“Damn woman, what do you have in here, rocks?! Come on I will show you the way to the medbay.” You laughed following behind.

“I couldn’t live without my rock collection.” Leonard glanced over his shoulder at you before realizing you were joking. Jim laughed from behind both of you.

“Oh Bones you have met you match. Good you need someone to keep you in line. You sure as hell don’t listen to me. Maybe you will listen her.” Leonard just glared a moment a Jim before continuing towards the medbay. He waited for you to catch up beside him.

“Hopefully tonight after we finish the mess of patients, I can show you how much I missed you, properly this time.” His low voice sending thrills and shivers all over your body. You grinned clasping your hands behind your back.

“Doctor McCoy, I do believe that is a request I would be glad to accept.”


	5. Chapter 5

Leonard allowed you to enter the turbolift before him, following behind with a wide grin. When you turned to look at him, your face lit up. “I can’t believe I’m here with you. You don’t know the things my mind has come up with this whole time. Leonard…” He moved close to you leaning his forehead against yours speaking quietly.

“I’m so sorry you had deal with that. You have no idea how sorry. I thought of you constantly, I swear. I was trying to do everything possible to assist in getting the Enterprise back within range. Jim knew well enough to request for your transfer here. He signed my name as well as his on it.” You laughed quietly leaning in close against him.

“I’m glad to see I have your best friend’s approval. I was worried there for a while.” Leonard shook his head at you.

“Jim listened to all my drunken stories about you. I think he will be glad to not have to listen so much anymore.” The turbolift doors opened, standing there was a beautiful woman in a red uniform dress. A smirk slowly growing as she looked between you and Leonard.

"So McCoy, is this our new doctor? I’m Nyota Uhura, communications officer.” Leonard took your arm and moved you out of the lift before answering.

“Yes, Uhura. This is [Y/N] [Y/L/N]. The ship’s new doctor.” You held your hand out to the woman. Uhura smiled wider as she shook it.

“We have heard so much about you. I think you and I should have a meal sometime soon and I can tell you ALL about the Doctor here.” Covering your mouth as you started to laugh. Leonard wasn’t having any of it.

“We have a sickbay full of patients. Maybe another time.” He dragged you down the hall. Both you and Uhura still laughing.

“Come on Leonard; are you afraid of what she might share with me?” 

“Frankly, yes. I don’t need you in cahoots with anyone else on this ship.” Leaning up on your toes you kissed his cheek lightly.

“I love you. You are stuck with me, so you are going to have to deal with me meeting and getting to know your friends and the Leonard they know.” He stopped to look down on you. For that intense moment, he searched your face and eyes for something. You were not sure what it was. However, the barely there kiss he gave you, let you know that he was happy.

“I love you too. I wish I could just kidnap you to my quarters for the next week but work comes first. Let’s get this over with.” Sickbay was not far from the lifts. The set up was not too different from the medstation back on in York Town, just on a smaller scale. He showed you around, introduced you to the staff and brought you back to the office where you could put your bags for the moment. It felt like a whirlwind but it felt right.

 

The next twenty-four hours were a crazed mess. You saw more patients in that time than you probably had in months, back home. Everything from broken bones to radiation burns. The whole time Leonard would glance over at you or lean over your shoulder to watch you work. Amazed at how you picked up working in the new place with no issue. The nurses responded well to the new addition. Several mentioning their delight at having another woman to keep the men in line. Even though you had only been there for the day, by the end of it you felt like it was normal for you, as if it was meant to be.

You saw all the patients you had been assigned and now you were trying to keep your head from falling onto the desk. It did not work, and that was how Leonard found you a short time later, sleeping in an awkward position on the desk. He watched you for a few minutes, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you were here. You were here, working with him and you loved him. The past month had been very difficult. So many scenarios ran through his mind on what you could possibly be doing. Due to his past with the ex-wife, several of the scenarios involved you dropping him and finding someone else who could give you the attention that you deserved. At some point he would tell you about the almost heart stopping joy he felt when he found out you had accepted the transfer. Someday he will tell you. That way you could possibly understand how much he cares for you.

Leonard shook you lightly to rouse you so he could get you to a real bed to rest. He realized that as he helped you out of the medbay, he did not know if your quarters had been assigned or where they would be. So, the next decision was that he was just going to bring you back to his quarters. You were practically sleeping while you stood, dragging your feet as you walked with his help. Once there he sat you on the bed and pulled off your boots. He did not dare to remove anything else. Tucking you under the covers, he kissed your head, whispering his love for you before heading back to the medbay to grab your bags. He wanted to make sure you had something to change into for the morning. Without it looking like the ‘walk of shame’. You were in the exact same position when Leonard returned. 

He had read your updated medical file before you arrived on the Cerberus. The most recent event of blacking out, with dehydration and improper nutrition had caused him some concern. Leonard had a sneaking suspicion that you probably had not been sleeping well either. As much as he did not want it to, he figured it had something to do with your worry for him. You had lost weight since the last time he had seen you, and you looked exhausted. Nevertheless, you were here with him now and he was going to make sure you never had to worry like that again. He watched your sleeping form for a few minutes before deciding it wise that he sleep on the couch. It was not that he did not want to sleep with you. God, did he want to sleep with you. But he would make sure it was when you were ready for it.

You woke up many hours later feeling more rested than you had in as long as you could remember. At least before the Enterprise went missing. Stretching, you wanted to get all the stiffness and sleep from your body. It took you a moment to realize you were in a bed and not in the medbay, which is where you last remembered being. Sitting up, you looked around finding bits of his life scattered around. You were in Leonard’s room. That thought made you warm on the inside. He brought you here to make sure you got the rest you needed. Always the doctor and the gentleman. Climbing out of bed, you went on your search to find him. It was not difficult in the mid-sized quarters. He was still fast asleep on the couch. You sat down on the floor next to him, trying to memorize each and every bit of face that you could. He looked so relaxed as he slept. Far different from the ‘I am going to take on the weight of the galaxy’ look he wore every moment he was awake. A stray bit of his dark hair had fallen over his forehead. You tried to move it with a brush of your fingers without waking him. But he stirred and opened his eyes. “I have to be dreaming. Or dead, to wake up to that beautiful face.” The smile that appeared on your face could have lit the entire ship.

“Definitely not dreaming. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you. I wanted to watch you for a bit longer.” He laughed taking your hand and kissing your palm.

“Darlin’, you can wake me up anytime.” Pulling you up to join him on the couch, he kissed you lightly. You giggled as you returned the kiss with a bit more heat than you intended. That only encouraged him further. He wrapped his arms around you, letting the kiss deepen. As the minutes went by, the passion only increased. Leonard rolled you beneath him on the small couch, moving his lips down your neck. His hand slowly moving up your thigh. You could not stop the gasp that escaped your lips. One of your free hands moving though his hair.

“Commander Spock to Doctor [Y/N]. Please report to Conference room A2 for briefing.”

Both Leonard and you groaned loudly. “Damn it. I swear they do it on purpose.”


	6. Chapter 6

You made yourself look mostly presentable before heading to meet with Commander Spock. There was not time to shower but at the very least, you pulled a clean uniform out of your pack and brushed your hair. After the previous day, you were still feeling exhausted. As was Leonard as he took a rather cold shower. There were dark circles under his eyes as he gave you a kiss and a half smile before you left for your briefing.

“Thank you for meeting with me Doctor [Y/N]. I will attempt to make this gathering brief. This PADD has the information regarding your quarters assignment, as well as information for chain of command regulations. As your Chief Medical Officer, Doctor McCoy, has more information that will pertain to the regulations of the Enterprise’s medical staff. You will be assigned to alpha shift for now with Doctor McCoy as Doctor M’Benga prefers beta shift.” Spock continued with several other items about your new position and the ship. It was probably another ten minutes before he sent you on your way to find your quarters. 

It took little time to find your quarters. They were one deck below sickbay and several decks away from Leonard’s. That was either going to be a good or bad thing. Your quarters were not large but you would be comfortable. Some place you would be able to make home for the near future. Your only hope now was that you were going to be able to adapt easily to life on a star ship. Living for the last few years in York Town and on Earth for several before that. The only experience you had with ships were a few short-term missions to different bases to assist in setting up medical facilities. This was far different. Leonard was there though. That one thing could make anything else tolerable. 

As you left your quarters, heading back to Leonard’s to pick up your belongings, Uhura walked up the corridor. “[Y/N], good morning. Exploring the ship?” Her smile was friendly.

“No, I was just on my way to get my things so I can unpack. I’m tired of living out of bags. I want to be able to settle in, and figure out a place on this ship.” The woman nodded to you.

“I understand that feeling. Try not to let Doctor McCoy monopolize your time, too much. I was serious about getting together some time. It will be nice to have another female in crazy crew.” 

“Doctor McCoy to Doctor [Y/N], report to sickbay, please.” You sighed lowering your head. Uhura laughed.

“At least he uses ‘please’ with you. We get ‘now’. I will let you get to work. Remember we are going to talk.” She walked off in the opposite direction with her ponytail swinging behind her while you headed to the sickbay. 

 

The scene there was only slightly calmer than when you arrived there the previous day. Nurse Chapel handed you a PADD with information about the next patient that needed seen. You smiled at Leonard as you saw him across the room. He returned the smile before motioning to you to get to work. The rest of the day continued with brief glances and more smiles between patients. Working in the sickbay by the end of the shift felt like old hat. You fell into an easy routine with the nurses that kept the flow of the patients going. Leonard was impressed, having to stop and watch you several times throughout the day. Many times without you knowing. You were far more talented than your record had shown and he no longer felt guilty for using his and the Enterprise’s status to bring you onboard. 

After reporting off to Doctor M’Benga, you went to find Leonard. Of course, he was in his office working on whatever reports he needed to finish for the day. “Should I wait or am I going to be eating alone?” He looked up from the terminal with a smile. Something that everyone noticed was appearing more often.

“No darlin’, I am just finishing up. I had to send more information back to Star Fleet about the issues over the last month, medical wise. All the supplies and injuries, the boring stuff. You ready to eat? I am starving.” You nodded as he stood up to walk around the desk.

“I am too. Plus it will be nice to sit. I have been bouncing from exam room to exam room all day.” He placed his warm hand on your lower back guiding you towards the door.

“Good, maybe we will even get time to talk. We haven’t had a real conversation since you got here.” The mess hall was busy but you found an empty table for just the two of you. You knew this would not be a common occurrence but you wanted him to yourself just for today. Leonard asked how you had been through the month absence. He was not prepared to hear how bad things had gotten for you. However, he was glad you had told him. The conversation progressed into a more serious tone when he asked how you felt about being on the ship. You could see the fear in his eyes that you would run back to York Town as fast as possible after the last couple days. Laying a hand on his cheek you smiled.

“Leonard, I swear I am not going anywhere. I hope someday you will believe that. I traveled through half the quadrant to come be with you on this ship.” His shoulders relaxed and he smiled. His hand moved over yours holding it to his cheek.

“I just don’t want to lose you or this, [Y/N]. You mean everything to me. I hope you know that.” Tears welled up in your eyes as you beamed at him. Neither one of you could see a table not far off watching the exchange. Jim, Uhura, and Scotty watched the pair of you with great interest. Spock, unlike the rest of the group ate his food reading over a PADD, thinking about how illogical it was for them to stare at their friend. None of them had ever seen Leonard so happy or emotional. They only hoped that you continued to do whatever magic you preformed on him to keep that smile on his face.

With your meal finished, you and Leonard walked back to his quarters to retrieve your belongings. Before the emotional end to dinner, you had said how much you wanted to unpack and feel like you were a part of the crew and the ship. By the time, you made it back to your quarters you were joking about one of your former professors in medical school. Leonard had him as well and had a few of stories of his own about the man.

“His face got so red and he was sputtering but there was nothing he could do. Nothing in the regulations said that we couldn’t.” You laughed loud as the doors opened to your quarters. Leonard set your bags down, after refusing once again to let you carry them while he was around. “So this is it? Not bad. Though I think it is a tad far from my quarters.” He looked around the place a few moments before he realized you were staring at him. “What?” A slow smile spread across your lips.

“We are alone. Really alone. No shifts to run off to, no briefs to attend.” You walked close to him wrapping your arms around his neck. Kissing him lightly. “No one but us. Finally.” Leonard wrapped his arms around you, leaning down to kiss you again.

“I say it’s about damn time.” He picked you up in his arms carrying you over to your bed. You giggled as he set you down. “Oh funny is it?” The mock look of fear lasted only a moment, as you could not keep a straight face.

“Oh no Doctor McCoy not funny at all.” You grinned as he pulled off your boots and tossed them across the room. He climbed onto the bed laying gently over you as his kissed your nose then lips. 

“Good. There is nothing funny about what I want to do to you tonight, [Y/N].” The intensity in his tone caused you to shiver. The kiss that came next was one not unlike before that send warmth rushing through your whole body. His hand moved down your body, over your hip to grab onto your outer thigh pulling you closer against him. A gasp escaped from your lips as his mouth teased over your jaw and down your neck. You could not help but close your eyes as you allowed him further access. Both your hands trying to find a place to hold to him as he teased.

“Leonard…” you moaned as he rolled you enough to one side to allow his free hand to unzip your dress. Feeling his warm hands roam over your skin made you want to feel the same. You wanted to feel his skin. Feel the muscles and shape that made him who he is. Trying to make that desire come true, you moved your hands to pull his uniform shirt up over his head. The man was more than happy to comply. Leonard helped you remove it then tossed it aside as he had with your boots. Sitting up over you, he pulled your dress down over your shoulders then over the rest of your body. It followed suit and landed somewhere far away from your bed. Leaving you in your panties and bra.

“My God, you are beautiful.” As you laid there staring up at him, his eyes wandered over every bit of your exposed flesh. You had never felt more beautiful or worshipped until that moment. Never had anyone ever made you feel like Leonard did. Pulling him back down to you, you kissed him deeply. Pouring all of yourself into it. One of your hands moving through his thick hair as you held onto his back. He was breathless as he finally broke the kiss. “Woman, you are going to kill me.” You smiled wickedly up at him. That only encouraged him further. The remaining pieces of your clothes followed the rest settling somewhere on the floor until you were both bare. 

“Kirk to McCoy. Hey Bones I need…” Leonard looked fierce as he lifted himself over you. You bit your lip trying to keep quiet. A sense of disappointment starting to build.

“Jim are you dying?”

“No but…”

“Is anyone else dying?”

“No. I just…”

“Then I don’t give a shit if the ship explodes. I’m busy.” You stifled a laugh as he returned down to you. His mouth teasing your neck and moving lower. Arching into his touch, as his tongue circled one nipple and his thumb ran over the other. All the sensations happening at once causing your brain to shut down any rational thought. Now was just the time to feel. One of his hands moved lower, grazing over the skin of your abdomen sliding down between your thighs. You gasped as he lightly ran his fingers in a circle over your clit. “Oh you like that darlin’?” The only thing you could do was nod as he increased the pressure. Leonard continued the torture for a moment until his fingers slipped down further and pushed inside. The motion causing you to lean up on your hands quickly, causing him to lean back. 

“Leonard… please.” 

“Tell me beautiful. What do you want?” You whimpered as his fingers moved inside you. His mouth on your neck moving up to your ear to whisper to you. “Do you know how much I have thought about this? Thought about you beneath me? Having you cry my name. [Y/N], tell me what you want, baby.” 

“Damn it Leonard! You. I want you. Please I need you now.” Leonard could have lit the galaxy with the smile that appeared on his face.

“Anything you desire, darlin’.” Moving to place himself between your thighs, he leaned down to hold your face in his hands as he kissed you. Lightly and sweetly at first that turned into something much more. His cock slid achingly slow inside you, stretching the tissue in the most wonderful way. Leonard stopped himself a moment to pull back from your kiss. His head leaning against your shoulder, as he had to control himself from going too quickly. He wanted you to feel just as good as he felt right now. Then he began to move, slowly just as he had with the kiss. Letting the feelings build between the both of you.

Moans and grasps from you two started to echo in the room. Hands moving over each other’s bodies, kisses left over burning skin. Your movements became more desperate as he brought you higher. That long forgotten feeling tingling as it built up inside you, low in your belly. Your arms wrapped around his body as you tried to hold on. Leonard nipped at your neck hoping he could hold out just a bit longer. But your beautiful body and all the things it was doing to him at that moment were pushing him farther than his control would allow. His hands moved to your hips gripping with bruising force. Thrusting into you now with a pace, you could not hold onto as your body let go. Crying out his name as your nails scored the skin on his shoulders. The shaking and shuddering beneath him was all he could take as his own orgasm surged through him.

“[Y/N], damn it…” He grunted into your ear as he moved a few last times inside you. Leonard fell down on the bed next to you trying to control his breathing. You rolled to look at him, grinning. 

“That was one helluva ‘welcome aboard’ Leonard.” He laughed rolling to steal a kiss.

“That was just the beginning darlin’. Trust me; you better get some rest because I will be ‘welcoming’ you all over this room tonight.”


	7. Chapter 7

You settled into life easily aboard the Enterprise. During alpha shift, you worked alongside the medical staff as though you had known them all your life. Working beside Leonard, you learned all his quirks and ignored when his temper flared. Honestly, you found the grumpiness adorable and made sure you told him whenever he directed it towards you. That usually made it worse then he would huff and walk away. The crew let you know of the positive influence you had on Leonard. While he still had his moments, his whole demeanor was altered. There were far more smiles and less of the attitude, especially if you were near. It all blended together with what was now your life. You were happy plain and simple.

It had not taken long for you to move to share quarters with Leonard. Just over a month, really. Your nights had consisted of making love as though the galaxy would end in the morning and sleeping between whose ever quarters were closer at the time. It got rather annoying after a while and it was Leonard who actually made the suggestion first. The pair of you were lying in his bed, curled up, with you just moments from falling asleep.

“Move in here with me.” He had whispered into your ear. You were still in that in between place of almost asleep but not quite there yet. So you were not sure you had heard him correctly.

“Mmmm?”

“Just move in here with me. This goin’ back and forth between places and not havin’ all of your stuff in one place. Plus, I love you, damn it. I want you with me all the time.” The speech had woken you fully. Rolling over to face him, your surprise was apparent.

“You mean that? I’m not going anywhere, Leonard, I promise. I’m yours. We don’t have to rush it if you aren’t ready.” His past haunted your mind often. Not that you talked about it with him much, but you did not want to scare him away.

“Darlin’ it isn’t rushing. We haven’t slept a night apart since you got here. Well except when we get stuck workin’, but you know what I mean. It would make things easier just bein’ in one spot. As I said, I love you. I want this to last with you. Someday on an even more permanent basis.” You understandably agreed after that. The mere thought that he wanted to marry you someday caused you to crawl on top and show him how happy you were. Of course, he did not mind in the slightest.

It took the Enterprise six weeks to get back to fully functional after the damaged caused when the ship had been out of communications. There had been many long shifts of repairs and for you treating injuries sustained during those repairs. One evening when Leonard was pulling a double shift to help M’Benga, you were sitting alone in the mess hall, contemplating how you would stay vertical if you were to stand now and head back to your quarters. Exhaustion had seeped into every fiber of your being and you truly just needed sleep.

“You look awful.” The voice causing you to look up with half lidded eyes. Nyota took a seat in front of you with her dinner tray.

“Thanks. It’s a new look I am going for. I call it ‘drained doctor.’ Think it will catch on?” She laughed as she took a sip of her tea. Truth be told she did not look much better.

“I think it already is. The whole crew is running on fumes now. We need a break, badly.” Nyota sighed as she began to eat. You winced as you tried a bit of your coffee, it was ice cold. Damn, how long had you been sitting there in your delirium?

“Did I hear someone say needing a break?” Jim took the seat beside you. The aroma of hot coffee hit you. In one quick motion, you stole his coffee cup, setting your cold one on his tray in trade. “Hey, that’s mine!”

“Sorry, I need hot coffee if you want to live another day without ending up in the sickbay.” Jim frowned but started on his meal. Since you had come aboard, you and Jim had become fast friends. Leonard thought he would hate the two of you joking or drinking together on a regular basis. However, it had the opposite effect. His two best friends had become friends and it made him smile. While many times you and Jim would joke about Leonard, far more were the times you would gang up on Jim. “What were you saying about a break?”

“Oh yeah that…” Jim finished chewing the large mouthful before he continued. “We have to dock at Earth anyway. The ship has to be evaluated to make sure everything is running perfectly and within regulations before we are allowed back to deep space missions. Seems it’s going to take several weeks or so. I think it’s time we actually get a shore leave. A real one, not the abbreviated one, like last time.” Both you and Nyota looked over at him, excitement on your faces.

“Are you serious? Or are you trying to see if we break and mutiny?” Nyota asked wide-eyed. Jim laughed as he finished another bite.

“I’m serious. Everyone is a mess. The crew needs it.” In your excitement, you downed the rest of the coffee, kissed Jim’s cheek and ran off towards sickbay to tell Leonard. A whole month off on Earth would be wonderful. Leonard could meet your grandfather and maybe you could meet his family as well. Leonard was not quite as excited as you were but he was happy at the prospect. He messaged his mother then Jocelyn and Joanna to make sure everyone would be around. Begrudgingly Jocelyn said Joanna could spend the time in Georgia. His mother was ecstatic and promised there would be endless peach cobbler for everyone during your stay.

You made contact with your grandfather and he said he would have the house ready for you and Leonard the latter half of the trip. He was happy to finally be able to meet Leonard and to have some time with you. All the plans were falling into place. You and the crew would just have to make it another week without major incident.

The patient load had lessened since the completion of the ship’s repairs. Far less injuries, which made for an easier time for the medical staff. Now there was actually time to write up the reports, take stock in what the sickbay needed, and straighten up the mess that had accumulated since everything had begun. By the time the ship had made it to Earth, the entire crew was on edge with excitement. The last night before leave, a party was planned, since most everyone would be scattered across the planet. You had never seen so much alcohol on board a ship. Obviously, the crew had been able to hide their stashes in craftier ways but had brought them all out to enjoy.

The cargo bay had been cleared and then set up like a makeshift bar. Loud music heard from the comm system and many bodies packed tightly dancing in the middle. Nyota found you first, dragging you across the room towards where Jim and Spock were standing. Spock looked unimpressed by the gathering but his face relaxed a bit when Nyota wrapped her arm around his waist. Jim handed you a cup of something purple lifting his cup at you as he downed it. “What the hell is this?”

Jim shivered as the drink went down. “I don’t know. I probably don’t want to know but it will get you drunk. Where is Bones? He actually let you out of his sight longer than five minutes? He better not be in sickbay.” You shrugged at him, downing the drink just as he had. It tasted awful at first then left you with a sweet twist as an aftertaste.

“He said he had something to do real fast and he would meet me here. He has been acting weird all day. Maybe he is just exhausted or needs a moment without me around. Being stuck with me all the time has to be draining.” Jim moved close and put an arm over your shoulder squeezing lightly.

“That man loves you to no end. I know for a fact, he wants you around all the time. Bones is just Bones and he does things in his own special Bonesy way and time. Like chasing me around with the fucking hypoes. He enjoys it a lot more than any man should. But it’s just him. So don’t worry so much.” You laughed as he drunkenly tried to make you feel better.

“Hands off my girl, Jim.” Jim removed his arm on your shoulder, as you turned to look at Leonard. He leaned down to kiss you lightly brushing a piece of your bangs out of your face. “Told you I wouldn’t be long.” You smiled brightly up at him wrapping your arms around his waist, before looking back to the group. The rest of the night went on without further issue. Leonard had refrained from drinking so it was no surprise when he had to throw you over his shoulder to get you back to your quarters without a fight. You giggled the entire way about how hot his ass looked, even pinching it a few times for good measure. He settled you into bed with a hypo to help prevent a major hangover in the morning. That man loved you.

In the morning, the ship had docked on Earth. Leonard had to kiss you awake so you could shower and pack up for the month shore leave. Thanks to his care the night before you felt just fine and it did not take you long to prepare. The whole time though he was acting odd. He would look as though he needed to say something then stop or stare at you for several minutes before looking away quickly. When you asked him about it, he brushed it off saying it was just his distracted mind, and it was fine. You let it go and went about your morning. Later when were about to step off the ship, Leonard grabbed your arm stopping you.

“[Y/N], can I ask you something?” You looked back at him with a smile.

“Of course. What’s going on?”

“I’ve been trying to talk to you since last night. It just wasn’t a good time or I felt like the words wouldn’t come out or you just flat out dazzled me with that smile.” His tone was difficult to gauge and a group had started to gather around you.  
“Leonard, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing is wrong, baby. It’s right actually, very right. I didn’t want to go back home without asking. And now here we are about to step foot back on Earth and I haven’t gotten to ask you.” The group had grown larger now; you were feeling weird with all the eyes staring at you.

“Come on Bones, you are rambling.” Leonard ignored the remark from his friend as he continued. However, now he had gotten down on one knee.

“It’s been seven months today that I met you. Seven months of me being happy and wanting to spend every moment with you. You are the star in my life that keeps everything bright. I don’t want to go another day without you being mine. [Y/F/N Y/M/N Y/L/N] will you marry me?”


	8. Chapter 8

Warning: Angst

 

One could have heard a pin drop in the silence after Leonard spoke. He looked up at you expectantly as it took you a moment to process how everything had just happened. You mouth hung open a second just before a bright grin appeared. Nodding and screaming “yes”, you wrapped your arms around his neck. Everyone gathered cheered and clapped. You could hear Jim hooting and whistling behind where you stood, but you were busy kissing Leonard. He pulled back to look at you with the biggest smile you had ever seen on his face.

“You really mean it?” You answered with a quiet laugh and a nod.

“Yes. I want to marry you Leonard.” He kissed you again in his excitement, while the group around you had started to disperse. While they were all happy for you, they wanted to start their leaves. Leonard slipped his arm around your waist holding you tightly to his side. As you descended from the docking ramp he kissed your forehead pulling his bag over his free shoulder. He did not want to let you too far from him. Both of you smiling like fools in your shared happiness. “I can’t believe you have been hiding that from me, Leonard. I was starting to worry.”

“You have nothing to worry about darlin’. I would have asked you to marry me that first night if I wouldn’t have scared you away. You took my breath away from the first time I saw you in that bar turning Jim down for a dance. I feel like the luckiest man alive right now, [Y/N].” Just by the look on his face you knew he meant every word.

The shuttle ride to Georgia was pleasant other than Leonard and his flight anxiety. One would think that after all the time he spent on the Enterprise that his anxiety would have decreased. With larger ships it had gotten better, but he was about to crawl out of his skin with a smaller craft. Several times you had to kiss him to distract him before he tried breaking out one of the windows and jumping out. By the time the shuttle landed he ran out of the doors first breathing deep. “Bout damn time, thought that thing was never going to land.”

You laughed as left the shuttle, both bags in your arms. “Leonard, what am I going to do with you?”

He looked over at you with a smirk, “I can think of a few things but we better not be late or Momma will be after us both.” Leonard grabbed both bags leading you towards the exit. The ride to the McCoy home was beautiful. Georgia was so green and pretty. You could not stop smiling as you stared out the window. When you pulled up to the old southern home his mother was standing on the porch waiting. Her salt and pepper hair was pulled up into a loose bun on top of her head with tendrils falling down around her face. Her light blue dress moved with the Georgia breeze.

“Well look at you two. You are a sight, that’s for sure. Leonard hun you get up here and give me a hug.” He smiled as he embraced his mother tight.

“It’s good to see you momma. We are glad to be here. This is my… well my fiancée now, [Y/N]. [Y/N] this is my mother, Margaret.” You held out your hand to her but she grabbed it and pulled you into a tight hug.

“We hug here, my dear. Especially if you are going to be a McCoy. I’m so happy. Leonard you sure picked a pretty one, smart too. Another doctor. I hope that means you will be givin’ me more smart grandbabies.” Blushing brightly, you wiped the hair out of your face. “Come on you two, I got dinner waiting on ya.”

You couldn’t remember the last time you had a home cooked meal. It was wonderful and felt like a family. Margaret asked many questions of you. She wanted to know all about the woman who was going to be her new daughter in law. There was a lot of laughter as all three of you told stories and jokes. It was wonderful hearing how Leonard was a child. Before the mess that his ex-wife had created within him. Joanna was due to arrive in two days much to the happiness of Leonard and Margaret. Jocelyn kept Joanna away from her grandmother as much as she did her father.

While you were nervous to meet Joanna, you were also excited for Leonard. He talked about her all the time and missed her terribly. He was just as excited to see her as he was to get engaged. Bringing together the three most important people together made him happier than you had ever seen. Not once did he sound out of sorts as he had often on the Enterprise. Leonard was home.

 

After two helpings, a piece, of peach cobbler, you and Leonard finally were able to go to sleep. Both of you completely exhausted had slept well into the morning until the aroma of fresh coffee woke you. You pulled on loose shorts and a tee shirt, something you had not worn in ages. Real clothes, not just uniforms. Leonard was still sleeping like the dead, so you left him to follow the delicious scent. Margaret was there reading, a cup of coffee sitting beside her. “Morning dear. Want a cup and some breakfast?”

Nodding you took a seat at the table.

“Thank you. Want a hand?”

“Oh no you sit and rest. You and my boy there I know work too hard. Enjoy your time off. I like having people to cook for.” She reminded you a lot of your grandmother. Her and your grandfather had raised you since you were a baby after both your parents were killed during a battle with the Klingons. You talked for a while about your life in Maine and about the family you had left. It was easy to talk to her, that must be where Leonard got it from. Margaret was a good listener and knew how to draw people out of their shells. Just like she was now with you.

Leonard finally woke a couple hours later starving and ready to start the day. He ate the large plate of food his mother made him then brought you on a hike to show you his home. The woods and the trees were bright and peaceful with the river that ran the back edge of the forest. You sat there together for a while enjoying the quiet. The river was cool as you walked the edge with your bare feet. You found several pretty water smoothed stones that you picked up as Leonard watched from the shoreline laughing quietly. “More rocks for your collection?”

“Yes, actually. I need to make sure my bags are nice and heavy for you to lug back to the ship.” He laughed louder leaning back on his hands, his legs out in front of him.

“I knew it! I knew you loaded those bags with rocks.” Picking up the three you liked most you ran back to him throwing yourself into his lap. A sweet kiss turned into something much more. Before too long you were both screaming out the others names as your bodies moved together in ecstasy. As you put your clothes back on Leonard could not take his eyes off you. “I can’t believe I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“We get to spend the rest of our lives together. Don’t forget that.” The rest of the day and into the next you soaked up as much time as you could together. Later in the evening Joanna arrived with her mother. Jocelyn did not stay long and she barely looked at you other than to give you a look of irritation. Joanna was sweet and was genuinely happy to be with her father and grandmother. You could understand her shyness towards you as being a new person. You tried to stay out of their way as they all bonded. Leonard would bring you into the conversation and after a little while Joanna would start to talk more to you.

Leonard had asked to wait to tell Joanna about the engagement. He wanted the time to spend with her then let her know the good news. It was easy to understand his motives. He did not want throw such an important thing on her right away. The next few days were spent letting Leonard and Margaret get to know who Joanna was now. You stayed on the sidelines for most of it. Watching and supporting them as you could. Though it felt like you were being pushed further to the sides with every passing hour. By the third day you had barely spoken to Leonard the whole day. Joanna wanted to go swimming and begged Leonard for just “daddy/daughter time” down at the river. You encouraged them to go on that you were tired and wanted to nap.

It was not a lie. You were exhausted from the constant busy days and honestly from the emotions that were starting to arise. There were no longer conversations with Joanna and you. Anytime you would speak to her, the answers were short bordering on curt. At first you tried to pass it off as shyness but at the end of the week, she had progressed to completely to ignoring you. Leonard noticed but until you said something to him he had not mentioned it.

“She has been through a lot since the divorce. Joanna is a sweet kid she is just trying to figure things out. I know it will get better. Give it time, okay?” You sighed but agreed. There was nothing left in you to argue. So you let it be, going out of your way to be as nice as possible to her and stay out of her way. It did not get better, quite the contrary it got much worse. Joanna became much more upset anytime you would talk to Leonard and would inject herself into all your conversations trying to take his attention off you and direct it back to her.

You were crying alone in the bedroom when Leonard came in. Trying to keep him from seeing you, wiped your face and sat up to look over at him. “Darlin’ what’s the matter?”

“Nothing… I’m all right, just tired.” Clearing your throat, you adjusted your position on the bed.

“Look I know she is being a little difficult. I’m sorry it will get better. We should probably wait on telling her about the engagement just a little while longer. We don’t want to upset her and I just want to spend the time with my baby girl. It’s been so long.” You felt awful inside, here you were taking time away from Leonard and Joanna.

“Go spend the time with her Leonard. I know we don’t have much time left here. It’s fine. I promise.” He smiled, kissing your forehead before going off to find her. The next day Joanna was sitting at the table with Leonard and her grandmother having lemonade. Margaret offered you a glass which you happily accept, taking a seat in between her and Joanna. As you sat Joanna got up and walked out the door grumbling “I don’t want to sit next to her.”

Leonard looked at you and the tears in your eyes, confused. “[Y/N], did you say something or do something that upset her? I don’t understand why she is acting like this.” His question completely floored you.

“Leonard, I have barely spoken to her. She ignores me if I am anywhere around.” The tears turned into crying. He honestly thought you had done something to upset his daughter. “You know what, it doesn’t matter. I am not feeling well. I am going to go lay down.” He did not try to stop you nor did he try to say another word. He merely watched you retreat back up to the bedroom. You fell asleep crying late into the night. When you woke the next morning you noticed the bed was cold. Leonard never came to bed.

You had a feeling he slept down on the couch and did not want to disturb him or anyone else. The kitchen was empty and quiet. So you poured yourself a cup of coffee and went to sit on the front porch watching the sun come up. So many thoughts were running through your mind and you were unsure how to fix any of it. Lost in your own thoughts you did not hear Joanna walkup.

“You need to go away.” The little voice startled you, so much that you did not hear what she said.

“I’m sorry?” You looked over to her as you set you mug down. Looking more upset she crossed her arms in front of her.

“You need to go away and leave my dad alone. He doesn’t need you.” It felt like a slap in the face. You weren’t sure how to respond. “Just go away. I don’t want you here and I don’t want you marrying my dad.”

“Joanna I don’t understand. I haven’t done anything to you. I very much want to get along with you. Your dad loves you so much and I love him.” You tried to reason with her, but you could see in her eyes it was not going to work.

“You aren’t my mom and I don’t want you to be. I hate you and I will tell my dad you hurt me if you don’t leave. You know he will believe me over you.” She laid it all out. For eleven years old she was smart and knew the art of blackmail already. The sad part was she was completely right, Leonard would believe every word she said. He had already accused you of upsetting Joanna before without a thought to how well he knew you. She stood there staring at you with anger and hate all over her face and it broke your heart. You sniffed as the tears fell, getting up from the chair you walked past her without another look.

 

There was not much of your belongings to pack. You had only brought one bag with you, so you were done within ten minutes. Leonard walked in as you zipped up the bag, looking as though he just woke up with the unshaven face and hair going every which way. “What are you doing? You going somewhere?”

You had dreaded this conversation but knew you had to do it before you left. “I’m going to Maine. See my grandfather before leave is over and I have to decide what I am going to do after that.”

“You’re going without me? We aren’t supposed to go for another few days [Y/N]. What’s going on?” The tears were back though you did not stop them this time.

“I need to go Leonard. I shouldn’t be here. Your daughter despises me and you already think I did something to upset her. I can’t stand in between you and her.” He walked up to you grabbing your arm lightly.

“You aren’t leaving. I love you. We will figure something out. I’ll talk to Joanna, make her see how amazing you are. I’ll fix it.“ Leonard looked desperate. You shook your head, looking up at him.

“Who would you believe if Joanna said I hurt her?” Leonard paused looking down at you, turning the question in his mind. The conflict in his eyes told you everything you needed to know. You leaned up to kiss his cheek. “This has been the best time of my life with you. Goodbye Leonard.” Once again he did not try to stop you. He sat on the bed and cried.

 

The shuttle trip to Maine was difficult. Between you crying, and the turbulent ride you were sick to your stomach by the time you landed. Your grandfather met you as you arrived and refrained from asking questions when he saw your pale complexion. He merely hugged you close and ushered towards the car. Once you had gotten into the house and you brought your bag upstairs to your old room. He hadn’t changed it since you left for medical school all those years ago. Overwhelming exhaustion hit, forcing you to curl up in bed. You pulled your old stuffed animal close and fell asleep.

When you woke up hours later you were starving and desperately needed a big glass of tea. Grandpa had made dinner, your favorite scallops and pasta. He watched you inhale the meal without a word. Once you finished your second plate and two glasses of tea he finally broke the silence.

“You going to tell me what’s going on, my girl? Why are you here and your young man isn’t?” Setting the glass down you looked at him, giving him a sad smile. The story just fell out of your mouth in a rush. Every painful detail came out that you had bottled up since Joanna had first arrived. Everything up until you arrived here alone. Now there was so much more to think about. “You don’t know what you want to do now, do you?”

“No grandpa, I don’t. I don’t know if I can go back to the Enterprise when leave is over. Especially now.” He looked confused.

“What do you mean, especially now?” Leaning back in the chair you picked at the food that was left on your plate.

“I’m pregnant, grandpa.”


	9. Chapter 9

Warnings: Angst and language

 

To say that your grandfather was surprised at the announcement was an understatement. It took him several minutes to finally make a sound. Thankfully, he was supportive and delighted that he would have a great-grandchild in the near future. However, you could tell there was the underlying point of Leonard he was thinking about. While he had never met him, he felt like he knew the man. You had talked so much about him and how he was such a good man, it was obvious that you loved him. He felt that Leonard should know about the baby. That perhaps could heal some of the pain that was burning a hole in you both. There was so much pain built inside you right now you were unsure of when or if you could tell Leonard about the baby. You were still in shock, truth be told. The signs were there all along and you are a doctor you should have seen them first. It had not been until you ran for the bathroom after landing in Maine had you realized what the cause had been. It was just a tricorder wave later and you were correct. A little life made from love growing inside you.

You still loved Leonard; there was no doubt of it. As you were certain he loved you as well. Nevertheless, there was no choice between his daughter and you. It would not be fair for you to force him to choose, not that you wanted to. You preferred having everyone together but Joanna hated you and it was something that could not be avoided right now. That was something to think about another time. Now you had to decide what you were going to do. Could you go back to the Enterprise, work beside Leonard day in and day out as you grew his child, and not be together? Did you want to raise your baby on a starship like that? It hurt thinking of it.

Two days later, just three days since you had been home your transmitted your resignation to Jim. It had to go to him first before it would be passed on to Starfleet Command. At the end of the crew’s leave, you would start looking for a job in a hospital or somewhere close by so that you could live with your grandfather. You needed something close to the little family you had left so you had some support raising the baby on Earth. The decision had finally been made when on the third day you knew that Leonard did not intend to contact you. Not only did he let you walk out the door but also he had not made one attempt at contact. Maybe it was for the best. At least that it what you tried to tell yourself as you transmitted the request.

 

There was so much more going on in the world that you did not know. Especially down in Georgia where Margaret was berating Leonard daily about how he needed to go chase you down and get on his knees begging for forgiveness. He had thought about it many times. You were on his mind constantly and he did not know how to reconcile that with the anger Joanna had for you. There was no doubt in his mind that you would never have hurt Joanna but you were right that he would question it if his daughter had said it. How could he not? She was his daughter.

At first, Joanna was ecstatic that her plan worked. You were out of the way and she had her dad all to herself. In her mind now, he would be happy just to have her around and they could spend all their time together. It never occurred to her that she would be going back to her mother soon and leaving her dad alone, once more. At least not until she saw him crying on the porch the night you left. In as long as she could remember she had never seen him cry. Well not like this. He cried whenever it was time for Joanna to go home with her mom but the crying now was different. It was as though someone died.

“Dad? You okay?” Leonard sat up straight wiping his face quickly trying to hide the tears. He voice cracked as he answered. Clearing his throat quickly, he tried to sound like everything was fine.

“Yeah… I’m fine baby.” She knew he was lying. As she walked towards him, she frowned with a tinge of hurt.

“No you aren’t. Is it because [Y/N] left? You don’t need her dad. You got me.” Joanna tried to show him the good side of it. He sniffed, wiping his face again with a quiet laugh.

“Yeah I have you kid. Right up until your mom comes to get you. And we go back to only seeing each other through transmissions until she lets me get some time with you again. I’m not sure why you don’t like her, Joanna. You never gave her a chance to show you how amazing she is. She was so nervous to meet you and afraid you wouldn’t like her. [Y/N] is a good person and I love her so much. But doesn’t matter now.” Leonard shocked her as he stood up and walked off. He had never done that before. Now there was guilt growing inside her and she did not like it.

 

Across the country Jim was seated at one of the old bar hangouts nursing a beer. He was remembering all the good times and a few of the not so good times, he had there in the past. Iowa, while it was technically home, was not feeling so much like it anymore. Jim was bored out of his mind and alcohol could only do so much. He paid his tab before heading back to his mom’s house. At some point, he thought it would be wise to get a place of his own, especially for times like this when he really had nowhere else to go but here.

Jim’s mom kissed his cheek as he walked back in. “Jimmy, there is something going off in your room. It has been alerting for the past few hours.” He frowned as he walked towards the back of the house, hearing the alert as he entered the room. There only alerts he should be receiving were emergent alerts. Everything else could wait until he got back to the ship. Picking up the PADD, he read over the request. You were resigning, not only from the Enterprise, but also from Starfleet. He through the PADD down on the bed, angrily.

“What the… Oh hell no. That’s not happening.” What happened in the short time on leave that you were leaving Starfleet and Leonard? Jim needed to know for himself because he sure as hell was not going to let you leave without an explanation. He packed up quickly and headed towards Georgia. Good thing he remembered how to get to the McCoy place. Within a few hours, he was standing on the porch banging on the front door. “Bones, [Y/N], you home?”

Margaret open the door with a relieved smile. “Oh James I am so glad you are here. Go talk some sense into that man.” Dread started to build in his stomach.

“What sense am I talking into Bones? It got something to do with [Y/N]’s resignation I received this morning?” She nodded, moving to make way to let him in. “Where is [Y/N]?”

“She left a few days ago. Went home to Maine with her family. Leonard is… He is a mess James. You have to talk to him.” Margaret led Jim out towards the pasture in the back. Leonard was watching Joanna ride one of the horses. He looked worse than Jim had ever seen him. Margaret nodded towards the pair before walking back into the house.

“Want to tell me why I got a resignation request this morning from [Y/N]?” Jim’s voice startled Leonard, but was even more startled at what he said. Turning to look at the man, he had to hold back to keep from crying.

“She resigned? From the Enterprise?” Jim shook her head pulling the PADD out of his bag and handing it to Leonard.

“No from Starfleet. Bones… What the hell happened? You just asked her to marry you. Did she change her mind and take off? What the hell man?” Leonard looked down at the ground, unable to bring himself to look at Jim.

“She knew she would lose against Joanna.” He said it just above a whisper.

“What do you mean ‘lose against Joanna?’ [Y/N] wanted to meet her. Damn if I didn’t listen to it many times about how she wanted the meeting to be perfect and how she couldn’t wait for you to have the time to spend with your daughter.” Jim was growing frustrated, and it showed.

“I know. I think she was as excited as I was when Joanna arrived. Just for the fact of how happy, I was to see her. She gave me all the room and time with Joanna that I needed. She did not ask for anything. I accused her of doing or saying something to Joanna when she started acting rude towards [Y/N]. It did not even cross my mind that she would never do such a thing. Especially something like that, that would hurt me. Joanna just thinks things should be great now. I’m lost Jim. I lost the love of my life.  I can’t…” Leonard’s words froze on his tongue. He could not go further, for fear of completely losing it here in front of his best friend and his daughter. Walking off towards the house, he did not give either one a glance. He had to get away.

Joanna stopped her horse watching her father walk off looking defeated with his shoulders limp. Jim watched him walk away until he disappeared into the house, before looking back to Joanna. “What did you do? And don’t lie to me like you do your dad. I don’t believe the bull.”

She bit the inside of her cheek before she tried to story out on Jim. “She was trying to take my dad away.” Jim rolled his eyes.

“That’s crap and you know it Joanna. Your mom did that a long time ago. Your dad loves you too much to talk bad about your mom but I don’t give a damn about that woman. Do you know why your dad had to join Starfleet?” Joanna walked her horse towards the gate, and then slid off landing lightly the ground. Looking up to Jim, she nodded. “Okay what story did your mom tell you?”

“She said he wanted to get away from us.” Jim laughed coldly.

“Of course she did. Well that was a complete lie. Jocelyn forced him to leave the planet. He wasn’t allowed to come within distance of her or you unless she allowed it. She made him miserable by keeping him from you. He fought so hard to have more time with you but she lied and made sure she is in control of how and when he sees you. I’m sure she filled your head with how awful [Y/N] is, and how she wants to do all these awful things like make your dad happy. Your mom wants to make sure that Bones is miserable for the rest of his days. She is teaching you to be just like her too.” Joanna eyes widened quick with the accusation.

“I’m not…”

“You shut up and listen, kid. Your dad has given you anything he ever could. Done every damn thing your mother has ever said to make sure you are happy and he can see you when she allows it. [Y/N] was so excited that your dad was going to get to see you for these couple weeks. She was willing to not see her family so Bones could have more time with you. Did you know that?” She shook her head slowly, afraid to say anything else.

“Yeah I didn’t think so. Your dad is my best friend in the galaxy and he has saved my life multiple times. He deserves every good thing life can give him and you just took it away. You hurt him and made him choose between two people he did not have to choose between because you are selfish just like your mom. I hope you can look in the mirror at yourself and know how badly you hurt him. Because he is in here hurting probably just as bad as when your mom took you away from him. You just took away someone else that meant the world to him. Why don’t you go back to your mom and live the rest of your life knowing that.” Jim’s fists were balled at his sides, Joanna stood there with tears in her eyes. She never meant to hurt her dad. He walked off as he shook his head at her. All of it made worse just standing in her presence.

 

It took Jim a day to track you down. He had pulled many strings to get the location of the former admiral’s home. Leaving a note for Leonard in the morning, he said there was something he had to do. He did not want to tell him he was going to try to stop you from resigning. Try to convince you to talk to Leonard again and fix the whole mess. Your grandfather opened the door when Jim knocked. “Can I help you?”  
Jim took a long breath explaining who he was before asking. “May I see [Y/N]?”

Your grandfather smiled allowing Jim to enter the house. “I hope you can talk her into rescinding her request. I believe she is going to regret it.”

“I hope so too, sir.”

“Come this way, she is in the kitchen.” Jim followed, as he was lead through the house. They found you sitting on the kitchen counter eating what looked like a bowl of ice cream with some kind of pink topping. You were surprised to see Jim standing there in your kitchen.

“I will leave you two to talk.” Your grandfather left quickly to get out of the way.

“Umm I would salute you or something but I am in my pj’s in my kitchen, so, no.” Jim laughed pulling out one of the chairs at the kitchen island to sit at.

“You know why I am here, [Y/N].” You shrugged at him as you finished off the last of the ice cream in your bowl. “What the hell was that?”

“Vanilla ice cream with Talulian pudding.” He squinted his eyes in disgust.

“Talulian pudding? That stuff is disgusting. How can you eat that?” Slipping down off the counter you rinsed the bowl out setting it aside to clean for later.

“I don’t know, it just sounded really good. I was craving the sweet and sour so...” Leaning back against the counter you shrugged again. Your arms crossed against your chest, in a sort of defensive pose. He looked as you for a moment, narrowing his eyes for just a second before then went wide.

“You’re pregnant! Holy shit, [Y/N], he doesn’t know does he?” Shaking your head, you looked down at the floor. “You have to tell him. He is going to freak and then he will beg you to marry him all over again.”

“I will tell him eventually but, I think we are done for good Jim.”

“The hell you are. I came here to tell you I refuse to accept your resignation. Get your ass to Georgia and talk to him. He is a mess, worse than I have ever seen. [Y/N] he needs you.” Jim had walked over grabbing both your arms lightly.

“He needs Joanna. I am just the woman, who loves him.”

“Why are you both so damn hard headed and stubborn? You two are so perfect for each other it’s disgusting. Fine, if you aren’t going to do anything about it, I will.”


	10. Chapter 10

You slept that night with Jim’s words echoing in your mind. There was no doubt that Leonard would be happy that you were pregnant but it would divide you further. How would Leonard choose between his two children? Thinking about it, hurt your heart. By the time you woke in the morning you were still feeling as though you had not slept. That could also be pregnancy and the first trimester fun your body was going through, either way you felt awful. As you sat at the kitchen island staring into your tea, Jim stumbled into the kitchen mumbling something about coffee. You pointed towards the coffee maker without a word. There was not really anything to say. As much as you loved Jim as a friend, you wished he would leave and let you suffer quietly.

He fumbled around finding a mug before filling it to the brim. “You damn people making me lose sleep and getting up this damn early on my leave.“ A smirk appeared as you sipped your tea. As miserable as you were you could not help it. You and Leonard enjoyed Jim’s small miseries like this. Pain stabbed through your heart, the smirk disappeared as quickly as it appeared. “Stop looking like that. All this would be better if you just went back to Georgia and talked to him.”

You sighed loudly, setting your teacup on the counter. “I can’t Jim. You should just head back to Iowa and enjoy leave before it’s over.” He groaned running his hand through his hair.

“I don’t understand this at all. Why won’t you talk to him at least? Why aren’t you fighting? You two were made for each other. I have never seen that man so happy in the entire time I have known him. He is actually pleasant to be around now.” With a shake of you head you looked down at your folded hands on the counter.

“No you don’t understand. If it were another woman, I would fight. If it was anything else, I could fight. I cannot fight against his child. There is no fight there. I would lose every single time. Not that I would ever try. “ The more you thought about it, the more your heart hurt. Tears welled up in your eyes causing you to sniff loudly. Jim sighed walking over to you, wrapping you in his embrace.

“Don’t cry. [Y/N] I am going to fix this somehow. I can’t stand seeing you or him like this.” You wanted to believe him with all your heart. 

 

Leonard had barely slept in the almost week that you had been gone. He was run down and exhausted though he tried to spend as much time with Joanna as he could. The day before she was to return home with her mother, they were down by the river for a swim. She had been quiet most of the morning as she studied her father. He was withdrawn though he did make an attempt to smile and talk with her. There were dark circles under his eyes and Joanna knew he had slept little recently. Her guilt was increasing by the hour as she saw the effect your absence had on her father. After the stern lecture from Jim, she had been looking for a way to talk to Leonard. However, she was afraid of how he would react. Leonard sat up on the shoreline watching her trying to keep his mind occupied with something other than you. He failed miserably. Everything revolved around you or related to you in some way. It only furthered his decent into the hell he was living.

When Joanna saw him rubbing his face again in frustration as he stood up on the shore, she knew she had to say something. “Hey dad?”

“Yeah kiddo? You all done swimming?” She nodded as she walked slowly out of the water. Her guilty conscience took all the fun out of her swim. Leonard gave her a half-hearted smile as he wrapped her in a towel to dry off. 

“Dad can I ask you something?” He looked down at her with a curious gaze.

“You know you can ask me anything darlin’. What’s on your mind?” Joanna bit on her lip a moment as she looked down at the ground, holding the towel tight around her not only for warmth but also for strength.

“Are you gonna talk to [Y/N] again?” Leonard sighed unsure how to answer.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure she wants to talk to me right now anyway. But don’t worry about it kid. Your old dad will be alright.” Ruffling her hair he tried to distract her from the pain he was feeling. Joanna was smarter than that and did not buy it.

“Dad I am not a little kid. I know you are really sad. I’m sorry I made her leave.” She could not look at her father in the eyes.

“Aww honey you didn’t make her leave…”

“Yes I did. I told her… I told her to leave or else I would tell you that she hurt me.” The words had finally been said. Leonard got very quiet for a moment before kneeling down to meet Joanna eye to eye.

“Joanna, I don’t understand. Why would you do that?” As she looked up to his face, she had tears in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry daddy. I thought… I thought you wouldn’t love me as much if you had her. Mom said she would take you away from me. I didn’t want her to take you away.” By the end, she had been reduced to a sob. He pulled her close and hugged her tight.

“Darlin’ you are my little girl. No one could ever take me away from you. You are one of the most important people in my life. Don’t ever forget that. Even though I love [Y/N], I still love you.” 

“I love you too, dad” Leonard held her tight for several minutes before pulling back to look down at her. 

“Better?” Joanna nodded as she wiped her face. “Good.”

“Dad?”

“Yeah kid?” He put his arm around her as they walked in the direction of the house.

“I think you should talk to [Y/N]. She makes you happy.”

“She does make me happy. You would be okay with me being together with [Y/N]?” Smiling up to her father, she nodded again.

“Yeah I think I am okay with it. I like when you smile and are happy.” 

“I like it too. Joanna, I asked her to marry me.”

“I know. I heard you and Gramma talking about it. If you get married would you have another kid?” The question surprised Leonard. He had not really thought about it. You and he had not talked about kids. He was not even sure you wanted children though he knew that you were all right with him and Joanna. God he was an idiot for letting you leave.

“I don’t know sweetie. She may not even take me back.”

“I think she will. I know she loves you.” He ruffled her hair again as they walked into the house. Joanna ran off to clean up as Leonard stared after her. He wondered if you could possibly forgive him. Did he even deserve it? He would try to contact you when Joanna went to sleep. Even though everything in him wanted to fly to Maine at that instant and beg you to forgive him. Nevertheless, he had to think about Joanna first. Make sure she was all right before he could do anything else. Then he could try to get in touch with you.

The next morning you had been busy in between bouts of nausea. You had sent out several inquiries to local facilities regarding open positions. It was starting to annoy you that Jim flat out refused to even talk about your resignation. Anytime you brought it up, he would change the subject or completely ignore you. You figured it was how having a sibling felt. But you had to think about your future and the future of your baby. In his mind, everything would work out and did not want to hear otherwise. While you had to commend him for the optimism, you did not think it was likely. Your grandfather had not said much about the situation. He was truly hoping that Jim would be able to salvage the relationship. Though, he would support you no matter what happened. He left for the day, muttering something about damned Starfleet business. This left you with Jim who had been on comm all morning with someone from the guest bedroom. 

You decided to just leave it and him alone to finish your day. With the inquiries done, you had started to prep your old apartment in York Town to be transferred back to the ownership of Starfleet Command. Your belongings would be sent back to Earth so that you would be completely ready for when Jim finally sent your resignation through. The exhaustion hit quickly as you took a seat on your bed. The nausea followed close behind. It took little time for you to jump up to run to the bathroom to throw up yet again. If there was any doubt of your pregnancy before, there was none now. Jim cringed as he heard your retching from where he sat. As he stood to close the bedroom door, he heard someone ring the doorbell to the home. You heard it at well in between heaves.

“Jim… can you please…” There was no way to finish your statement as the remainder of your lunch made its return visit. He got the gist of what you wanted and went to open the door. To his surprise Leonard stood there with a bad slung over his shoulder. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to open the door like this was your place, Jim. Is [Y/N] here?” Leonard looked as though he had been afraid of what the answer would be. Instead, he was blessed with the sound of you vomiting loudly from down the hall. “Is that her? What’s going on?” 

“Ummm… well… I think you need to go talk to her yourself.” Jim pointed down the hall in your direction. You had been far too busy to listen to the conversation in the hallway to even know who had shown up. By the time Leonard made it to the bathroom, you were leaning your head against your knees wiping your mouth with a wet cloth. 

“Darlin’ are you all right? What’s the matter?” That voice of his shocked you to the core causing your head to pop up quickly to look at him. The motion caused your head to swim and your stomach to revolt forcing another wave of nausea. You barely made it over the toilet before you began again. Leonard kneeled down next to you, holding your hair and rubbing your back. He did not say another word, letting you get sick in the quiet. There was not a whole lot he could say while you were like this.

After another minute, you had finished that round. Leaning back once more, you closed your eyes feeling around for the wet cloth again. Leonard handed it to you, giving you the time to clean up and calm down. You were afraid to open your eyes but finally you did, looking up at his questioning face.

“You okay darlin’?” You shook your head biting your lower lip, afraid to open your mouth lest a sob escape. “I’m sorry for everything. Joanna told me everything she said. She apologized to me. At some point, she wants to apologize to you too. If you allow it of course. I don’t want to lose you baby. I’m an idiot for letting you leave.”

Those were the words you wanted to hear more than anything. You crawled over to him and wrapped your arms around him. Burying your face in his neck, you cried silently. These tears were different from the ones before, they were happy tears. 

“I hope that means you forgive me.” Nodding into his neck, you held tightly against him. “That makes me so happy, [Y/N]. I love you so much.” You pulled back to look him in the eye as you responded.

“Leonard, I love you. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, darlin’. You going to tell me what’s going on with you? Are you sick?” A short hysterical laugh escaped your lips. Leonard raised a brow.

“Not really sick.”

“Okay… then what?”

“Ummm I’m kinda… pregnant.” Leonard’s eyes went wide in his surprise.

“Preg… pregnant? Really pregnant?” You nodded slowly as Leonard fumbled with the words. His silence following made your anxiety grow.

“Well damn it, woman. We are getting married today!”


	11. Chapter 11

There was no doubt your face was frozen in utter shock at his declaration. “Umm what?”

Leonard frowned the typical Leonard frown. “We are gonna get married today.”

“Like hell we are. I don’t even know if I am going to get off this floor today. Let alone feeling well enough say my vows. And I sure as hell am not getting married in the bathroom.” 

“Well, we are getting’ married. I love you and that’s my baby in there.” Leonard set his hand on your still flat abdomen. “[Y/N]… we are havin’ a baby.” The last part was so quiet you almost didn’t catch it. But it made you beam at him as you leaned your head against his shoulder. Your hand covered his.

“Yes we are. I’m scared but I am so happy. It was something I did not even know I wanted until I knew it happened.” Leonard wrapped his arms around you, holding you close and enjoying the feeling. It was something he did not think would happen again. That was how Jim found you both. Clinging to each other on the bathroom floor.

“Well my work here is done. I have less than forty-eight hours before we report back to the ship. I plan on being drunk for all of them. [Y/N] I deleted your resignation. You’re welcome. Night kids, have fun.” He was out the front door without another word.

You grandfather returned home not long after you peeled yourself off the bathroom floor. He found you and Leonard sitting at the kitchen island talking. Leonard stumbled over his words, fearing what the old Admiral would think of the man who hurt his granddaughter. “Umm good day sir, Admiral [Y/L/N]. I’m… uh. Leonard McCoy sir.”

You snorted then laughed from behind him. Leonard turned to frown at you over his shoulder. Your grandfather stepped close to Leonard with his stern face. He appeared to look over Leonard, as he did with those who were under his command.

“So you are the one that stole my girl’s heart then broke it? And you impregnated her? What do you have to say for yourself?” It took everything you had within you not to fall on the floor laughing. Leonard broke out in a cold sweat, mumbling his apologies. 

“Well son? Did you beg her forgiveness and promise to marry her?”

“Ye…yes… sir...” Your grandfather narrowed his eyes as moved close to Leonard’s face. You could see him shaking at the scrutiny. After about five seconds your grandfather pulled back and smiled like the wonderful man he was and looked over to you.

“Good. When do I get to walk to down the aisle, my girl?” Grinning you walked around Leonard to give him a hug. Leonard look confused for a moment before he realized what happened. Then he started to relax. 

“Soon I hope. Leonard this is my grandfather, Sean. Grandpa, this is Leonard.” Both men shook hands though you could tell that Leonard was nervous. 

“It’s good to finally meet you son. [Y/N] has told me a lot about you. I’m happy you made the right decision and came here. My great grand baby there needs to strong man in his or her life.”

After a few minutes of small talk, Sean retired to his office for the evening. After the day of discussions with Star Fleet he has several reports to finish. Leonard looked as though he had been holding his breath the whole time. He was almost gasping as his nerves were finally relieved. “I don’t know if I have ever thought someone was gonna stab me like when he walked in here. And you laughing like it was nothing.”

“Leonard, he has been waiting to meet you since I first told him about you. He looks scary but he is a teddy bear. He has been saying since I got here that we deserve to be together. I think he wanted to see if he could scare you.”

“Yeah he scared me. I think I may need some clean pants now.”

 

The rest of the night you talked a lot. Every feeling and hurt was out in the open. He told you of Joanna’s apology and how she wanted to tell you herself soon. Sometime in the near future you would talk to her and you would forgive her. For the moment you just wanted to be held in his arms. The time apart had caused enough hurt for you both. Every so often he would whisper how much he loved you in your ear then would run a hand over your abdomen. It would send a thrill through you knowing in the not too far future you and Leonard would have this new little life. You had no doubt that Jim would demand the baby be named after him for his role in saving your relationship. It was something to think about over the next months.

When you woke in the morning Leonard was staring at you. He had been memorizing every inch of your face. “See something you like, handsome?” That easy smile of his appeared as you slowly got used to the morning sun.

“More than like, darlin’. I am looking at the woman I love. Will you do something for me?”

You curled up into his chest closing your eyes. “You know I would do anything for you.”

“Marry me before we go back? I don’t want to spend another day without you as my wife. It’s not about the baby. I came here wanting it before you told me you were pregnant. But that little one in there only seals it. I want you with me as Mrs.… Dr… whoever McCoy.”

Once the words had time to process in your mind, you pulled back to look at him. “All right Dr. McCoy. Let’s get married. Better tell Jim though he might be upset if he misses it.” He smiled down at you, then kissed your face all over.

“You just made me the happiest man. I will work every damn day to make you happy I swear it.”

It took a most of the day but you were able to pull together a small wedding. Your grandfather arranged for a chaplain he knew to come perform the ceremony. Those closest to you from the Enterprise gave up their last day of freedom, to join you in the backyard to celebrate. Your dress was not traditional with its flowy green skirt. But you felt beautiful as you walked on the arm of you grandfather towards Leonard. Jim stood at his side with a knowing grin on his face. Like he had predicted this from the beginning. Well you guess he did. From the time you first stepped aboard the ship, he had said it. Damn that smirk of his.

It only distracted you for a moment before looking at Leonard. His face was alight with pure joy. Your grandfather kissed your cheek as he joined Leonard’s and your hands together. The chaplain began speaking in a soft baritone that felt like it was made for this. The theme of love and joyfulness left not a dry eye in those gathered. “An’t tha lovely.” Could be heard as a loud sob from the Scotsman in the back.

When the time came to recite your vows you found the strength to speak the words of love that you both would always remember. Between the pregnancy hormones and the emotions of the day you could not keep the tears from slipping down your cheeks. Leonard had his own tears as he stuttered of the words. But he kissed your clasped hands as he pledged his faith and love. As you were pronounced husband and wife, Leonard breathed a huge sigh of relief. “’Bout damn time!” He pulled you close, kissing you like you were the air he needed to live.

Everyone clapped and cheered their happiness for you. It wasn’t long before you were being hugged by all of your friends and your grandfather. Once the crowd was sat at the scattered tables, Jim stood to draw the attention for his speech. “Almost five years ago I met Bones on a ship headed for Starfleet. I certainly didn’t know then, when I met the cranky bastard that he would become one of my closest friends.” Everyone laughed other than Leonard, though he did crack a smile.

“Over the time we have all known him our friendships grew. We relied on each other and became the family that we all missed and needed. Bones was like the crotchety grandpa, no offense Admiral [Y/N] …” The laughs were louder this time. Your grandfather laughed as well, clapping his hand and motioned for Jim to continue. “He is the person we all go to, to complain, to vent, and to be healed. Whether he liked it or not. Though we know that secretly he needed it as much as we do. We all need something that keeps us going and for the longest time he did not have that. Until that one night. That night where his whole life changed and he has not ever looked back. Now [Y/N] has brought out the best in Bones. I for one, will forever be in her debt. [Y/N], you have turned more than just Bones’ live upside down. You are not just the woman he loves without question, but also have become a friend to everyone here. That smile of yours has brightened many a day for whoever has needed it and been that ear when I had too much to drink. After scaring the hell out of me this week, I can’t tell you how happy I am to stand here to toast the two of you. Bones, [Y/N] be happy and love each other. Make us all sick with the lovey dovey crap and let us share in the story that you are going to write from here on out. That baby better be named after me when he is born. To Bones and [Y/N]!” 

“To Bones and [Y/N]!” Everyone raised their drinks toasting for you. Leonard and you sipped at your drinks, your fizzy juice was not what you wanted but you were so happy you could not complain. The rest of your night was like a dream. As a married couple you laughed, danced and ate like there was nothing else in the world to do. It was one of the best nights of your life.

Jim managed to push off departure for an extra day so that you and Leonard were able to have thirty-six hours of a honeymoon before have to return to duty. So there you sat with your new husband curled up together in front of the fire. You looked at your wedding band in the glow of the firelight and sighed contently. “Are you all right Mrs. McCoy?” 

You could hear that a million times and never grow tired of it. Mrs. McCoy… now Dr. McCoy. Yeah, that wouldn’t get too confusing in the medbay. “I’m happy. So very happy.”

“Me too darlin’. I wish we could stay like this forever but…”

“But we have our duty to do. I know but at least we have something to look forward to. Thirty-five weeks or so and we will be adding to the McCoy family.” Leonard rested both his hands over your lower abdomen. The warmth seeping through the thin fabric of your nightgown.

“Yep. I can’t wait. You are going to be an amazing mother, [Y/N]. Thank you for starting this new life with me.” His soft kiss turned into so much more. The two of you taking advantage of the few hours you had left alone.


	12. Chapter 12

Life back on the ship returned to normal. Well about as normal as a ship full of people, who could not get away from each other for the next several years, could be. Joanna had made her tearful apology to you a few days after returning to the ship. She truly seemed excited to know she would have a sibling in the coming months and asked if she could come visit when the baby was born. Plans would have to be made with Starfleet, but both you and Leonard had hoped it would be possible. 

Weeks turned into months rather quickly. It was not long before your uniforms were becoming tighter and a baby bump appeared. While you loved your friends, after the seventh person came up to you to rub your stomach, you lost it. It could have been the hormones, but you made sure that Leonard knew it. You had dragged him into the office with you and went on for a good twenty minutes how everyone seemed to think your abdomen was public domain. It ended with a spectacular display of tears, the likes Leonard had not ever seen from you. Once you had napped and had a dinner consisting of a hamburger dripping with mustard and pickles you were back to your mostly sane self.

Leonard was not sure how he would make it through the next twenty weeks with a crazy pregnant wife. Thankfully, he and Jim shared bottles of alcohol often when you had late shift. It was one of the few things that kept him from launching himself out the airlock. There were also nights that Jim would sit with you completely sober, and just talk about nothing important. There were many jokes and teasing about your crazy hormones but he never took it too far. He was by far the friend that kept things easy and calm. Which was one of the many reasons why you and Leonard sat him down one day to ask him to be the baby’s Godfather.

“You want me to do what? Why? I am the last person in the galaxy you want to be a role model for your kid. You two have lost your minds.” Jim chugged down half his drink in a go. In his mind, he was petrified and honored at the same time. He was awful around kids. They do all sorts of weird things and smelled even weirder.

You smiled at him knowing that look on his face. “Jim, this baby would not be here without you. You were the one that had pushed both of us to maintain this relationship. Leonard would not be the person he is today without you.” This earned a scoffing noise from the grumpy man beside you, to which you kissed his lips lightly before continuing. “Who came all the way to Maine to make sure I didn’t leave Starfleet or Leonard?”

Jim looked up from his glass showing half a smile. In his mind, all the things he had done were not a big deal. He did not see it as any extra effort; it was just what people did for their friends. 

“But we want you to understand though, if you accept this, it also means if something happens to Leonard and I… We want you to…” Jim held a hand up stopping you.

“If something happens to you and Bones? Meaning I get your kid if you both die? That’s what being a Godfather will entail? You want me to take your kid and raise it when you both die? Now I know you both have lost your minds.” Leonard sighed loudly setting his face down on the table while you looked at Jim with your own smirk.

“Well this baby has made me a little crazy. But we are serious, neither one of our families are really prepared for something like that. Jim you would be amazing at showing this little one the galaxy. You are brilliant, brave, and you know how to get yourself out of trouble in the blink of an eye. Plus you are backup. I don’t plan on dying and leaving my kid for anyone else. Though, neither did my parents… And look what happened there.” Your intention had been to keep it light, but the thought of your parents’ deaths popped up when thinking about leaving your own baby alone in the galaxy. The somber look on your face softened Jim.

“You both really think I wouldn’t screw up your kid?” Leonard lifted his head from the table.

“Jim it’s my kid. You can’t screw it up any worse than I will.” Rolling your eyes, you shoved Leonard’s shoulder.

“How about neither one of you screw up this kid and just be the good people you are. Damn you two are annoying as hell.” Both men laughed as you huffed. You pointed a finger between them. “Listen up; this is how it is going to go. Jim you are going to be this baby’s godfather and you will like it. You will vow to take care of him or her and teach it all the trouble you know. Leonard, you, will be a great father as you already are. If something happens to either one of us or both of us then, Jim will step up and help in what ever way you can. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am.” They answered in unison.

“Good. Now get drunk or whatever you need to. I need to pee again.” 

 

After that discussion, Jim had stepped up to his godfather role. He was suggesting names often and made sure you were comfortable and not standing too long when he would see you. It got on Leonard’s nerves but when didn’t Jim get on Leonard’s nerves? Jim argued that it was necessary for him to know the sex of the baby so he could prepare himself for whatever it was. Especially if it was a girl. It would take a lot of preparation for him to be ready for a girl. “Like what the hell do you do with a girl?” 

You stuck to your guns and you made sure that Leonard had no access to your medical records during the pregnancy. As well as threatening M’Benga within an inch of his life that he would not leak whatever he knew to Leonard or anyone else. Everyone was just going to have to wait until the baby decided to make his or her entrance into the world. Plus it was fun watching Leonard get whiney about it. It was one of the many joys of being married and pregnant, annoying your husband.

Just because you were pregnant, though, it did not stop the rest of the galaxy from moving and going about their lives. There were several more missions for Starfleet that were completed. As well as away missions, rescue missions… Too many damn missions to count when it came down to it. Most days were exhausting. The faces were all a blur by the time you would crawl into your bed at the end of your shifts. Time was passing so quickly that you could hardly believe that you only had a month left before you would be holding your sweet baby in your arms. You kept in contact often with your grandfather and Leonard’s mother, keeping them updated on how you were feeling and what was happening in the far reaches of space.

Both wanted you to come home for the birth, but there just wasn’t the time for the Enterprise to make it back to Earth. Moreover, the Enterprise really was home now. Your family, Leonard and the crew needed you just as much as you needed them. Especially with as much trouble everyone got in. There would always be a need for a less grumpy doctor on board.

The Enterprise was on its way to a summit on a planet that had petitioned for alliance with Starfleet. A typical routine mission for James T. Kirk and the Enterprise. Over the time you had known him, he had been able to talk his way out of a great deal of trouble. He had rescued countless people as the expense of his own safety and he brought you and Leonard back together. Making him the perfect choice for mediator. 

It started as a typical day. Leonard had been called to the medbay early in the morning to assist M’Benga with a delicate surgery. Normally you would have been happy to help but you had hardly slept the previous night due to late call. By the time you woke in the morning it was nearly 1000 hours. Jim found you sitting at a table alone in the mess hall staring at a PADD as you picked at your breakfast. He sat down in front of you with a raised brow. “How is there food still on your plate? Last week you ate two full plates before anyone else had one.”

You frowned at him as you set the PADD down on the table. “So you calling me fat, Jim?”

He nearly choked on his coffee as he tried to come up with a response. “[Y/N] no… I didn’t mean that! I mean… Ahh shit come on you know I didn’t mean that. You are gorgeous. I just meant you have barely touched your plate.” A smirk appeared on your lips. You really enjoyed when he tried to pull his boot out of his mouth.

“I’m not really hungry. It’s hard to have an appetite when a child has pushed up all your organs leaving a miniscule space for your stomach and any food one might want to eat.” The look on his face was priceless and it caused you to laugh.

“That sounds horrible. You can’t eat? Isn’t this the time you are supposed to be able to eat anything you want? Pregnancy just sounds like one problem after another.” He then proceeded to shovel his mouth full before expressing his extreme satisfaction with his meal. “See? This is pretty damn good. I would be pissed if I couldn’t eat.” He may be captain of the Enterprise and a good friend, but sometimes Jim was just a plain ol’ goofball that needed a good smack upside the head. Too bad your large belly prevented quick movement of any kind.

Fortunately, the rest of your meal went far better. The two of you chatted and you watched while he finished his plate and yours. Just as you were about to leave for medbay you received a comm asking you to evaluate one of the ensigns on the bridge for dizziness. Jim said he would escort you since he was on his way there. As you stood in the lifts waiting to reach the bridge, the little one gave a strong kick causing you to gasp quietly. Jim reacted quickly.

“[Y/N], what is it? You okay?” Laughing quietly, you nodded to him. 

“Yes, I’m fine. The baby was just letting me know I am not moving enough.” You took his hand, setting it on the last spot the baby had kicked. Pressing lightly the baby responded instantly kicking again, protesting any pressure on your abdomen. Jim laughed, before looking up to you with a large grin.

“That is amazing! I can’t believe you get to feel that every day.”

“Yeah well it feels different from the inside but I agree it is amazing.” The pair of you were distracted for the moment until a loud crashing sound and shaking of the lifts sent you both off your feet, making impact with the wall then the floor. The emergency lighting engaged darkening the lift faintly. There was a pain in your side as you lifted your head from the floor. You had hit the rail on the wall before falling. “Jim…”

He groaned as he pulled himself over to where you were. There was blood trickling from a laceration on his forehead. “[Y/N], you alright? The baby okay?”

“I don’t know. I hit the railing. Something hurts badly. I need to get to the medbay.” He nodded moving into a sitting position.

“Kirk to Scotty. We need to beam Dr. McCoy to the medbay from the lifts. She needs to get checked out now.” There was the sound of much commotion as Scotty replied.

“Cap’in aye can’t. The transporters are down. It migh’ be ‘ours for aye can gettum back. Aye ‘ave teams workin’ now.” Some of the words were garbled by whatever the damage was.

“Just get them working. I don’t care what you need to do.” Jim had a sheen of sweat appear on his forehead. “Send a team to start working on getting the lifts working. If we can’t beam we need to get her there somehow.”

The baby moved slowly with a soft kick, letting you know he or she was all right for the moment. The pain though was slowing increasing. Over the next few minutes and several comms, you were made aware of the fill situation. The ship had been fired upon by an unknown vessel and it had damaged the ship’s shields and sent many systems offline. Like the ones for the transporters and the lifts. Spock was currently negotiating with the vessel to cease further fire. 

Leonard was still in the sickbay and was now quite frantic about your entrapment. You told him to stay and take care of injuries and you would figure out what needed to be done for now in the lifts. In the back of your mind, you knew something was not right but you were not going to let him know that. There were sounds of people working on the lifts and you could only hope that they would fix it soon.

“Jim can you see where my tricorder went? I don’t think I can move right now with this pain.” He looked around finding it towards the door passing it quickly to you.

“Please tell me you are okay. I can’t fix this kind of stuff [Y/N]. This is Bones’ area. Please be okay.” Flashing him a small smile, you ran the tricorder over your abdomen, praying that it was just bruising. 

“Shit…” 

“Shit what? What’s wrong?” He grabbed it from you trying to read what it said. 

“There is a bleed behind the placenta. Trauma can cause it, like when I hit the railing.” A frantic look appeared quickly. 

“What the hell does that mean?”

“Means I need to get to the medbay and deliver this baby. Damn it, Leonard is going to lose his mind.” Leaning your head back against the wall, you sighed loudly. 

“We will figure out how to get you out of here I promise. I am not going to let anything happen to you.” You closed your eyes with a smile.

“I know you won’t. I just need to figure out what to do.” You sat silently for a few moments when a different type of pain gripped your abdomen. This time it was low feeling like a severe cramp, a contraction. Trying not to scare Jim any further, you tried to be silent. Nevertheless, he was watching your face and saw the brief grimace of pain.

“More pain?” You nodded at him as it started to ease. “What can I do?”

“Nothing at the moment. It was a contraction, probably from the pressure of the bleeding and the trauma.” Jim’s face went pale with utter fear. It took a few moments to calm him down though when the next contraction hit the cycle started all over again. He commed Scotty twice more, yelling that he better get his ass moving and get you out of there. Scotty could only do so much so fast and he was trying everything he could think of.

The pains were coming closer together and after another scan of the tricorder, the pocket of blood had increased by five millimeters. “Great.” Jim looked over afraid to ask what you meant by that. You opened your mouth to answer but were quickly interrupted by a gush of fluid from between your legs. Jim’s blue eyes went wide and he actually scooted away from you in fear. Even though the whole situation was anything but funny, you could not help but laugh. “Oh today is getting better and better.”

“Please tell me you just peed yourself. Because if it’s anything else I swear to God, I am going to… Actually, you know what. I don’t even know what the hell I will do. Just tell me you peed yourself.” That only made you laugh harder until another pain hit causing you to gasp and hold your belly.

“Umm no. I did not. My water just broke and this is about to get real in here, Jim. The abruption can cause a rapid labor because the placenta is being forced to separate. Which can be really bad. This baby needs to come out soon before it dies. Do you understand me?” He nodded. “Good. Now just hold my hand for now. I need someone to help me through this.”

 

It was not long before you were forced to tell Leonard what was going on. The panic in his voice broke your heart as he yelled at you to hang on and he would crawl down there if he had to. Scotty’s teams were working as fast as they could to release the lift. The systems were working against them and damage to the lift was making it worse. Within the hour, the pains were unbearable and there were tears streaming down your cheeks. Jim was doing everything he could to help you. His words of encouragement were the only things that were getting you through. The fear of losing your baby overruled just about everything in your mind. But he kept reminding you to breathe and get through the next pain. The tricorder let you know that the baby was still stable in there and the occasional kick helped.

Towards the end of the second hour things moved rapidly. One moment you were squeezing Jim’s hand, breathing, and the next you felt as though the only thing you could do was push. “Jim… you need to get my panties off, now.” 

His head popped up quickly. “Why?”

“Because the baby is coming now and it will be difficult for you to deliver this kid with my underwear on. I know you know how to take off a woman’s underwear. Pull them off now!” You growled loudly at him as you tried to keep from pushing.

“I did not sign up for this!” Jim said with a shake of his head. His warm hands moving under your uniform dress to pull your panties down. 

“Shut up and listen. Take off your uniform shirt you will need to wrap the baby in it. Then use one of your bootlaces to tie the cord… It has to be tight. Okay? Jim do you understand what I am saying.” He nodded quickly as sweat dripped down his cheeks. You could hear voices around the lift. Hopefully the engineering team was almost finished. There was not time to worry about it now. This baby was not waiting.

Leaning up on your arms you bent your legs and pushed with the next pain. God did it hurt but it felt far better than not pushing. You told Jim how to count for you and what to look for. Just before the head crowned something felt very wrong. There were black spots before your eyes and a ringing started in your ears. Your head felt like it was swimming. “Damn it.” You whispered quietly to yourself. Consciousness was not going to stay with you long. There was more noise around you but it was difficult to concentrate. Movement perhaps, you could not tell. 

“Holy shit I can see the head. Keeping pushing [Y/N] come on.” Jim’s voice sounded far away but it was the only thing you could focus on. Trying to pull every bit of energy you had, you pushed as hard as you could. There was a release of the pain and pressure as the baby slid into Jim’s waiting hands. The last thing you heard before you blacked out was, “It’s a girl!”


	13. Chapter 13

There was a ringing in your ears that brought you to the realm of semi-consciousness. So many sounds coming from around you and try as you might you could not make your eyes open. Someone said your name, you tried to turn your head in that direction but your body refused to cooperate. Then there was a warm hand on your forehead. You were sure it was Leonard but you could not assure him you were all right. Everything faded as the darkness pulled you under.

“Damn it, get that blood going on rapid infusion her vitals are still weak.” Leonard looked like a lunatic giving out orders with several of the medical team rushing around your bed. So many tricorders and alarms going off as they worked to keep you with them. Jim stood at one of the other beds, glancing in worry over his shoulder as he stayed with the baby. M’Benga was currently looking her over, as Leonard had demanded. 

“She is perfect, Captain. No evidence of harm from the abruption. Her vital signs are normal and her blood levels are exactly as they should be. [Y/N] is a smart woman she knew what was going on and she made sure that baby was safe.” Looking back to the sweet face of that baby he delivered, Jim could not help but notice the resemblance to you. He only hoped she got your happy, carefree personality and not Leonard’s crabbiness.

“Thanks Doc. I know Bones and [Y/N] will be glad to know she is good.” Quietly he picked her up and held her, afraid to let her go. He was petrified right now that they would all lose you. Leonard would never recover if you did not make it. Not to be left alone with a newborn that looked just like her beautiful mother. That was just Leonard, if he had to tell the crew you had died delivering your daughter there were going to be many tears. Jim’s among them. Your friendship had grown so much in the time you had been aboard, you were almost like the sister he never had. No, he could not lose you either. “Hey Doc…”

M’Benga turned with a knowing smile. “They are doing all they can right now. She lost more blood than… well let’s just say it was a lot.” They both worried as the team continued their efforts swarming the bed. One of the nurses walked towards Jim. 

“Captain, since the doctor cannot feed the baby right now, I need to make sure she is fed. May I take her from you?” The question sounded idiotic in his mind. No, she could not take the baby. He was not letting go of her until Bones or you asked him to. This was his godchild and he would be damned if something happened to her right now.

“No, show me how to feed her. This kid stays with me until her parents are ready for her.” The nurse smiled, nodding her head. It did not take long for her to move Jim to one of the quieter exam rooms and explain what he needed to do. Soon the baby was drinking away without an issue. “That’s a girl. You should feel honored, kid. You are the first baby I have ever held or fed. Though I’m pretty, sure this will become a common thing. I’m growing kind of attached to you now. I mean look at all the stuff we have been through together already. I promise I will keep you safe, just like your mom and dad will. Your mom is going to be fine. She is too strong to let a little thing like losing all of her blood get her.” It was quite some time, which he sat, staring at her as she finished her feeding.

Hours later, the sickbay was quiet. There were no alarms beeping only the quiet tones of the heart monitor on the biobed where your body lay. You became more aware of your surroundings as the pain between your legs roused you. That was a new feeling that you were not overly fond of, but you did just push a baby out. Baby… oh God where was the baby? Was she all right? You fought harder to move your body, this time it responded. Moving your head towards the left, you opened your eyes grateful for the dimmed lighting of the room. The room was empty; you hoped that Leonard was with the baby, keeping her safe. The bed alarmed, signaling the increase in your heart rate as you tried to sit up. “[Y/N], lay down darlin’! Don’t try to move too much. You have no idea what your body went through today. You are damn lucky we got you back… We almost lost…”

There was no way to miss the tears in your husband’s eyes, even in the darkened room. Your heart hurt for the pain that he must have gone through today. “I’m sorry, love. I am so sorry.” You reached up to cup his face. He leaned down to kiss you gently.   
“Please don’t ever do that to me again. I couldn’t survive losing you.” Leaning his head against your, he tried to blink away the tears.

“Is she okay? Is our baby all right, Leonard? I need to see my baby.” He smiled with a short nod. 

“She is perfect. ‘Uncle Jim’ hasn’t put her down since she was born. [Y/N] she is so damn beautiful. She looks just like you.” The happiness and tears in his voice made your heart swell. “Let me go get her, they are both sleeping in one of the exam rooms. I threatened anyone if they woke them up they would have to deal with me.”

There was nothing else you could do but smile. It was nearly a minute before he returned but in that time, you had lifted the back of the bed so you could sit up. It had taken a lot of energy and you were out of breath but it did not matter, all you wanted was to see her. When Leonard returned, you could see a brief wisp of brown hair on her head. He set her in your arm and you were instantly in love. She was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen and you could not take your eyes off her. You tried to memorize every aspect of her as you forgot everything else around you. Jim stood at the door with his hair in complete disarray, yawning as he watched you meet your daughter.

You finger traced over her soft cheek as she slept in your arms. It did not feel real, that this was the child that had grown within you for all of those weeks. The one you could feel move and kick. She left you speechless. There was nothing to say. You were content just to stare at her for the rest of your life.

“At some point, [Y/N] we are gonna have to give this little one a name.” Leonard’s words broke through the new mommy fixation. Looking up to your husband’s face it dawned on you that you two had not settled on a name for a girl. The boy’s name had come easy to you both. However, the girl’s name had been difficult.

“We never decided…” He laughed quietly, kissing her little head.

“I know darlin’. We should probably do that now. I still like your mama’s name.” You pursed your lips looking at her. It was not difficult to see she did look a bit like your mother. Though, you did too.

“Are you an Analynn, little one?” She took a deep breath in her sleep, sighing quietly. Everyone laughed, making you aware that Jim had been watching the entire interaction.

“I think Analynn is a beautiful name. It fits her.” Jim commented from his spot against the doorframe. You smiled at him as much as your tired body would allow, he winked at you. Sometime soon, you would thank him for saving your baby and doing something you knew to be very difficult. Looking down at your daughter, you beamed.

“Analynn Margaret McCoy.” Leonard nearly ruptured the muscles in his face with the width of that smile that appeared.

“Mama is going to cry when she hears that.” Kissing your forehead, he pulled you both close. After the day he had, Leonard wanted to make sure you were both where he could keep you safe. In his arms at that moment was as safe as you would ever be.

It took time for you both to get used to being parents to a newborn. Though, you far longer than Leonard. With his experience with Joanna and you still healing from everything you felt exhausted, constantly. The lack of sleep was certainly something you were not prepared for even working on a ship with rotating schedules and chaos at all hours. Analynn did not know what the meaning of sleep was for the first month. It astounded you on how alert and awake she could be all the time. She would nap for a short time before she would be up again for hours. Leonard helped as much as he could in between shifts in sickbay. However, the exhaustion got to him too and you could not be angry when he would pass out on the couch as he walked in the door of your quarters.

You found that Analynn liked to be walked around the ship. The colors, the lights and the gentle thrum of the ship’s engine seemed to calm her. If she did not end up on a ship in her adult life, you would be surprised. On one of the many walks you would have around the ship, Nyota found you wandering the halls with Analynn over your shoulder just looking at the lights.

“Again?” She asked with a brow raised. With a loud sigh and a nod, you stopped before her.

“Always. Leonard is stuck in surgery and she won’t sleep. So that means I don’t sleep.” She gave you a sympathetic smile.

“Let me take her for a while so you can nap. I don’t have anything to do and trust me you look like you need it. Plus it’s been a while since I have gotten to love on a baby. Little lady and I will have fun.” Your first instinct was to tell her no. As a mother, you should be able to take care of your child without help. But that instinct was crushed to bits at the prospect of sleeping more than twenty minutes.

“Are you sure? I’m okay really...” Nyota frowned shaking her head before starting to lift Analynn from your arms.

“No you aren’t. Go to bed, we will be fine I promise.” You kissed her cheek and almost ran back to your quarters. Even an hour would feel like a year at this point.

Nyota walked the halls for an hour until she could not stand looking at the walls of another corridor any longer. “Sorry kid, you and I need a change of scenery. Let’s see what the mess hall has for us tonight.”

Nyota grabbed a cup of coffee and a small tray of food that one of the engineering ensigns brought to a table for her since Analynn was in her arms. Before too long everyone wanted to see the baby. Nyota had a crowd of people around smiling and cooing at Analynn. Sulu had squeezed his way to one of the seats at the table and had somehow persuaded Nyota to let him hold the baby. She ate while he made funny faces and baby talk at the little girl in his arms. 

“I remember Demora at this age. She was such a happy baby. Ben said we had hit the jackpot with her. I think the best day was when she smiled that first time.” Nyota smiled over his coffee mug.

“You must miss them so much.” Sulu nodded with a sigh not taking his eyes of Analynn.

“Every moment.”

Leonard and Jim walked into the mess hall deep in conversation though both noticed the group gathered at one of the side tables. “Wonder what is going on there.” As they walked towards the line for coffee Jim saw the center of all of their attention.

“I do believe your daughter and my godchild already knows how to draw a crowd.” He laughed as he turned to walk off.

“My daughter?” Leonard followed behind with a confused look. As he saw Analynn, now in Scotty’s arms, not with you, he became more confused. “Where is [Y/N]?”

Nyota smiled as she finished off her coffee. “She is taking a nap. Seems Miss Analynn did not want to sleep so I gave [Y/N] time to herself so she could rest. She looked awful.”

“Aye, aren’t ya the prettiest lass there ever was.” Scotty cooed to her. Leonard smiled; of course, she was just like you and could charm anyone just by looking at them.

“Of course she is. She is my godchild.” Jim stepped up taking the baby from Scotty whose smile fell instantly.

“Aww I finally got ta hold the wee thing.” 

“I haven’t gotten to hold her all day Scotty. She missed her ‘Uncle Jim’.” The fight over who got to hold her continued for another few moments before Leonard stepped in. 

“Her daddy needs to hold her and then go check on her mama.” Another round of disappointed sounds arose. Leonard pulled his baby girl against his chest before kissing her head. “Come on, sugar let’s go home.”

By the time Leonard reached your quarters, a few thoughts had crossed into his head. He found you fast asleep, face down on your bed. Your hair was a mess; he figured you had not showered in a few days, at least. That may have been partly his fault since he had been so busy in sickbay recently, or every day really. Was there really a time when he had not been too busy he could not see straight?

From the moment he stepped onto the Enterprise is had been one crazy mission after another. So many injuries and death from one ship. How many surgeries had he done, how many wounds had he healed? Now with this little one, who was now fast asleep in his arms and his beautiful, tired wife passed out in their bed how was he supposed to be the husband he should be?

He set Analynn down in her bassinet before he took a shower. Thankfully, she stayed asleep as he climbed into bed next to you. He did not dare try to move you for fear of waking you from the longest stretch of sleep you had had since the baby was born. Unfortunately, try as he may, Leonard was unable to fall asleep with all of the thoughts going through his mind.

He was still awake hours later when Analynn did wake up, he knew what that cry was. She was hungry and there was no way around waking you up this time. You stirred at the sound of the baby’s cry. Rubbing your eyes as you moved to a sitting position on the bed. “Is she okay?”

“I think she is hungry, it’s been a while since she ate. Though, she has been sleeping a few hours now.”

“A few hours? Wow, I didn’t even realize how long it had been since I fell asleep. I seriously feel like a new person.” He smiled down at you as he handed you the baby to nurse. Once you were settled with Analynn content against you, you looked over at Leonard. “You all right? You look like you have something on your mind.”

He laughed moving in close to you, resting his head against yours so he could watch the baby. “You know me too well, Mrs. McCoy.”

“It’s Doctor McCoy, thank you. What’s going on in that big brain of yours Leonard?”

He was unsure how to approach the subject tactfully. So he just let it fall out on its own. “I think we should resign from Starfleet and go back home.”


	14. Chapter 14

“I think we should resign from Starfleet and go back home.”

You had to have him repeat what he said because you were sure that you did not hear him correctly the first time. “Leonard, you can’t be serious. This is our home.”

He let out a long breath standing from the bed, pacing back and forth. “No this is a ship where we have had so many bad things happen. Lives lost, yours was almost included in that. We could have lost Analynn in there too if you hadn’t been so damn brilliant.”

The little girl in your arms stirred as she finished nursing before falling asleep after a full belly. Setting her gently into the bassinet before you pulled Leonard out into the living room. “What is going on in your mind, love? This doesn’t sound like you talking at all.”

“Oh trust me, darlin’ it is. I have hardly had anytime with you and the baby since she has been born. Hell, I see Jim more than I see either of you. This is not what I want our lives to be. We should be happy and watching our daughter and Joanna grow up.”

“So you aren’t happy here anymore?” That question stopped him in his tracks. His hair was sticking straight up from his raking his fingers through it.

“Yes… No… I don’t know. I feel like I am going crazy here. I feel like every moment of every day I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like… I was able to save you and have my baby girl, but what am I going to lose because of that?” It scared you to see Leonard like this. This was not the man you fell in love with. The anxiety permeated every fiber of his being. You walked over to him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“We aren’t going to lose anything. I am here, Analynn is here, and Joanna is safe with her mother.” His arms wrapped tighter around you.

“For how long? [Y/N] I can’t keep doing this. I want to be on solid ground. Have a job that I know I will see you at the end of my day. I don’t even care where. We can be close to your grandfather if you want. Just think about it, please?” Resting your hand on his cheek, you leaned up to kiss him gently.

“Give me time to process everything. It’s a huge decision, Leonard.”

“I know darling. I’m just saying think about it. Even if we don’t resign but transfer back to Earth or York Town.” You signed with a nod of your head.

“I need to take a walk. Try to go back to sleep before the baby wakes up again. I know you need it.” Leonard kissed your forehead before walking out. There was no way you were going to be sleeping after that. Everything he said running through your mind. You knew he was exhausted but this was far more than that.

 

He did not bring it up again for the next few days. However, during that time you watched him closely. You did not like what you saw. Leonard was running on coffee and a couple hours of sleep daily. He was snapping at people more so than he used to, the worry lines on his forehead became more prominent. It was difficult to get him to slow down or smile anymore. When the realization hit you that he had fallen into a depression, your heart broke. This was the man you promised to love for the rest of your life and do whatever you could to make him happy. At this very moment, he was not happy. There was nothing on this ship that could make him happy. Not you, not Analynn and it killed you.

Jim found you in the mess hall the next day. You had the baby sleeping on your shoulder as you pushed your food around on your plate. Distracted in your own mind that you did not hear him call your name until he sat down in front of you. “[Y/N]? You okay?”

“Oh Jim… sorry I am…”

“Distracted?” A faint smile and a nod was his answer.

“What’s going on? Between you and Bones, neither one of you are acting like yourselves. It my little goddaughter there keeping you from sleeping?” Another tired smile as you shook your head.

“Leonard wants to leave Starfleet, Jim. He is so miserable right now and I hurts me to see it.” The bite of food that Jim had stuffed into his mouth choked him for a moment before his spit it back onto the plate.

“Leave Starfleet? What the hell is he thinking? No. There is no damn way any of you are leaving the Enterprise.” Analynn squirmed on your shoulder at the noise level before you repositioned her in your arms.

“Jim what can I do? Leonard is… he isn’t himself. I can’t ask him to stay here when he hates it. If the positions were reversed, we would already be on earth. He is that type of man and husband. He would do anything to make us happy. I need to be that wife for him.” The look on Jim’s face was pure panic.

“Let me talk to him. Maybe I can talk some sense into him. This is your home. This is all of our home and it would not be home without you. Just let me talk to him, okay? Before you make any decisions.” There was a lump growing in your throat that was holding back the sobs that were trying to break through. Nodding was the only thing you could do as the tears filled your eyes.

Jim left you sitting there alone with that sweet girl in your arms. He was a man who could talk Death into letting him stay a while longer. Nevertheless, there was no way he was going to change Leonard’s heart and mind. Sitting there for a while longer you watched your daughter sleep contently. She was too young, that when you left she would never remember living among the stars or the whole ship of people who loved her. The ache in your heart that had been there since hearing of Leonard’s desire to leave grew twice the size.

 

Until you came aboard the Enterprise, you never realized how much you loved space. Exploration and traveling, meeting different species. How could you not. Though, as much as you loved it, your love for Leonard was greater. If he wanted to go planet side then that is what you would do. It just did not mean you had to like it.

Jim found Leonard in sickbay, of course, at his desk going through the many reports from the day. He was on his third coffee in the hour as it had been around thirty-six hours since he last slept.

“Bones, you look like hell man. When did you take a break last? Or sleep?” Leonard grunted his response, not in any mood to deal with people. “That long? You have to get some rest.”

“Don’t think I don’t know that. But everyone on this damn ship has a death wish. Do you know how many ridiculous injuries I have treated today?” Jim took a seat, folding his arms over his chest.

“Ten?”

“Ten would have been a great day. No, twenty-three. Twenty-three various injuries from different parts of the ship. On top of those who were sick and those already here. I just got done reattaching three fingers on Ensign Garrish after an accident in Engineering. This should not happen on a daily basis, Jim. But it does.” Jim let him vent for a few more minutes before Leonard finally calmed enough to stop talking and take a real breath.

“You are leaving aren’t you?” Leonard was not surprised that you had said something to Jim. It actually made it easier on him. Now he would not have to sit Jim down and explain it all.

“I can’t keep doing this, anymore. I feel like this ship and Starfleet has sucked out every last piece of me there was. I almost lost my wife on this fucking ship. I could have lost my baby girl too. I only get to see Joanna twice a year. I don’t see how I can continue. It has gotten to the point that I almost don’t even want to be a doctor anymore. I hate this feeling.” The ranting turned into something else now. He got up from the desk pacing around the room, as Jim watched and piece of hope he may have had faded into dust.

“I feel like I want to jump out of one of the airlocks one minute and the next I can’t lift my head off the pillow. I haven’t seen my wife and daughter in two days. I’m either here or asleep. More often here. Jim… I don’t know what to do anymore.” Leonard’s body started to shake and he could not stop it.

“Bones… you have to calm down. Get yourself together. We will figure this out.” Leonard slumped down on the floor against the far wall unable to stop the shaking. Jim was at his side in a moment, calling for M’Benga.

“Captain? What is wrong?”

“I don’t know. Bones is having a breakdown or something.” M’Benga helped bring Leonard to one of the exam rooms as Leonard shook and cried. After the examination and administration of sedatives, it was discovered it has been closer to forty-eight hours since Leonard had last slept. He was dehydrated and exhausted, both leading to the breakdown of sorts. M’Benga was going to keep him sedated for at least twelve hours, to let his mind and body recharge.

As you stood over him watching him slumber, your own tears streamed down your cheeks. You would start looking for new housing accommodations back on Earth. Tomorrow when Leonard was awake and feeling better, you both would submit your resignations. Jim knew it was necessary now after watching his best friend slip into the temporary madness. It hurt him to watch but there was no denying it. Leonard needed the change of pace and scenery for the health of his mind and heart. He should have known after all these years it would catch up with him.

 

Your quarters felt empty without Leonard there that night. As much as you wanted to stay in sickbay with him, Analynn needed your attention as well. Jim stayed with him so you did not have to worry as much. There was no doubt Jim would call you if something happened. Your only hope was that your husband was finally getting some of the rest he needed. Sending word to your grandfather that you would possibly be home soon was one of the first things you did that night. There were no details given but you asked him if he knew of any homes close that might be for sale. Obviously, it was late on Earth but you knew he would respond in the morning.

Sleep eluded you for most of the night. Your worry and Analynn going through a grow spurt, wanting to nurse every couple of hours made for a very long night. Sometime in the late morning, you were fast asleep with the baby curled up next to you. Jim used his code to enter your quarters after trying several times over the comm to contact you. He hated to have to wake you, but you told him to.

“[Y/N]… Bones is awake.” Rubbing your arm gently you slowly regained consciousness. It took a moment to remember what had gone on the day before.

“Oh… Okay. Is he all right?” As you sat up, you pulled the baby into your arms, praying she would stay asleep.

“Yeah he looks better than he did last night. He is asking for you. Want me to watch the little munchkin while you go see him?” A warm smile appeared on your face.

“If you would. I hope that she sleeps a little while longer. We both had a long night last night.” Handing her over took a moment as you both tried to avoid jostling her too much. Within a few minutes, you were dressed and off to sickbay. Jim was right, Leonard looked much better than he had in a while.

“[Y/N], darlin’ I am so sorry…” You had to stop him from going further.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You were worn out and stressed, it is a wonder it did not happen sooner.” His loud sigh filled the quiet room as he leaned back against the biobed.

“I feel like I failed you and our family. I just… I wanted to be able to do everything. I can’t do it.” Kissing his forehead you made him scoot over in the bed, as you crawled up next to him, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Leonard we are a team and we need to do things as a team. No one person can keep the weight of life on their shoulders alone. At some point it will all crumbled under the strain. Let me help. When M’Benga gives you clearance to leave here… I want us both to submit our resignations. Grandpa is looking for places for us to live. We can go back to Earth and make a plan for the future.”

Leonard’s shock could not be missed as he stiffened up beside you. “[Y/N] you don’t mean it.”

Your short quiet laugh was his response. “I can’t allow my husband, the love of my life and the father to my beautiful daughter to be miserable because of where I enjoy being. If you don’t want to be here then we will find a place to make us all happy, together. I promise we will figure this all out.”


	15. Chapter 15

Leonard was released the next day after more rest and food. M’Benga only allowed it since you would be there to watch him closely. While he still looked pale, Leonard’s eyes had some of the life back in them. He submitted his resignation and it was as though a light had turned back on. You did the same that night as he slept in your bed. It took everything you had in you to hit submit. It felt like something heavy was weighing on your heart now. But making Leonard better was the only thing you could focus on. Well that and Analynn. They needed your love and support and when everything was right again, maybe you could find what you needed.

Jim received both requests in the morning as he sat in his office. When he sent them on to Command, he knew would lose two of the closest friends he had ever had and a little girl that had a piece of his heart. There was no use in trying to talk Bones out of it. Or you for that matter since you were intent on doing what you thought best for your husband. When the rest of your friends found out it had turned the once lively close group, quiet and reserved. No one wanted you and Leonard to leave but no one could fault you either. It made for awkward meals and discussions.

Leonard’s orders came first. Due to his seniority and record aboard the Enterprise, he would be allowed to resign with no issue in a month. You on the other hand would have to wait. They would not allow two of the doctors aboard to resign simultaneously. It would leave the ship dangerously understaffed. Until a replacement could be found, you would continue to serve aboard the Enterprise. Even then, Command was hesitant to let you resign. Losing two doctors was not ideal. Jim had mentioned the possibility of transfer to a planet side facility instead of resigning completely. Leonard was not thrilled about this and had thrown a fit when the orders came down a week after his.

“I can’t believe they are trying to do this to us. It’s damn ridiculous if you ask me.” He was pacing in the living room, running his hands through his hair. It was sticking up a bit more than usual.

“What did you expect? For them to bend over backwards and let two doctors from the same assignment just up and leave without replacement? This is the flagship of Starfleet. With some of the most dangerous missions, Leonard. They can’t put the crew at risk like that. I won’t put the crew at risk like that.” That stopped him in mid-pace to stare over at you.

“I… I didn’t think about it like that. I’m sorry darlin’. I just want out of this tin can as fast as possible.” Coming to sit next to you, he kissed you lightly flashing an apologetic smile.

“I know, love. There are a couple options we have.” Resting one hand on his thigh.

“Well lay ‘em out, maybe we can make sense of something.” There was no doubt he was going to hate most of what you were going to say.

“First one is that we all stay here on the Enterprise until my resignation is accepted. I don’t know how long it would be, but you wouldn’t have to be on duty anymore dealing with the patients.” The McCoy frown appeared as he looked at you as though you grew an extra appendage from your neck.

“Next.” A long sigh escaped from your lips.

“I stay here until the orders come through and you go home to get a place set up for us. Again I don’t know how long it would be but then you would at least be off the ship.” His body tensed at the thought.

“I don’t want to be without you, [Y/N]. We are supposed to be doing this as a family. I mean it would just probably be me right? Analynn is still nursing I can’t exactly take her away from her mom. How would all that work out?”

“Leonard, I don’t know what to do. I can’t just up and leave against orders. I will end of in the brig for the rest of my life for abandoning my post.” He rose from the couch again to resume his pacing.

“I know… I just don’t know what else we can do. But I won’t stay here any longer than I have to.” Hearing those words hit hard. Leonard would do anything to leave.

“Another option that Jim suggested is, instead of resigning, I could ask for a transfer. A transfer might be accepted quicker in hopes of keeping me in Starfleet. Be stationed somewhere closer to home.”

“You know that isn’t what I want. I want us to be free of Starfleet and all the rules and regulations. We should be free. I need to be free.” Closing your eyes, you rested your head back against the couch. There was no way to win in this situation. You felt utterly defeated and had no idea how to get out of it. Your silence called Leonard from his thoughts. Stopping mid stride he looked down at you.

“I’m being impossible, [Y/N] I know. You are trying to give me the options and I just can’t be happy with any of it. I’m sorry.”

“You are just expressing your thoughts, Leonard. It is all right. We will figure it out.” Both of you went to bed that night quiet and confused.

The month went by rather quickly for you though for your husband it had drawn on. The time had affected your relationship a great deal. While there was no anger between you it felt like you both had drifted so far apart that neither really knew who the other was anymore. Being back at work and having to wake up at all hours with a growing baby had left you exhausted and withdrawn. Leonard had no clue how to deal with who you had become. Though his thoughts were mostly consumed with counting the days down until he would be “free” as he repeated over and over.

The week before his resignation would become final, he had decided that he would return to Earth and find a home for your family. There had been no discussion with you about it. He just told you what he planned as you crawled into bed one night after a long case in surgery. “If that is what you want Leonard.”

Your orders had still not come through and there was no word on when it would be. Jim had requested information for you a few times but he was blown off every time. The night before Leonard was to leave for Earth, he sat with Jim in his quarters drinking a bottle of old Scotch. Both men had been quiet for a few minutes just enjoying the taste of the alcohol. “You know you are a selfish prick right?”

Jim’s question had Leonard looking up quickly from his glass. “Just because I want off this flying death trap and leaving you doesn’t make…”

“Oh I’m not talking about because of me. I mean I hate to see you go but if you hate it here, I can’t stop you. What I meant was what you have done to your wife. Have you looked at her lately?” Leonard grumbled a moment before swallowing the rest of his glass in a go.

“[Y/N] is fine. That’s what she keeps telling me.” Jim wanted to throttle and shake him until he saw sense.

“And how often does she tell you she is fine? Five, ten times a day? Who the hell is really ‘fine’ when they have to tell you that often. Because I know for a fact that woman is not fine, you asshole. She has been trying to keep your selfish idiotic ass happy for so long, she forgot what it is to be happy herself.” Leonard flinched as though he had been slapped.

“I didn’t… She is…”

“Yeah I’m sure you didn’t think a damn bit about her when you demanded to leave the Enterprise. That woman has been to hell and back since meeting you and somehow she still loves you. She was ready to give you up because of your bratty daughter because she would never ask anything of you. You know what… you don’t deserve her. Go to hell Bones.” Jim stormed off out of his own quarters; he could not stand to be in the same room as Leonard right now without punching him right in that fathead of his.

Leonard sat there staring at his now empty glass. He knew every word that his best friend had said was true. You were too precious and wonderful for him and he had killed all the light within you. Maybe it would be better if he were off the ship and away from you. Returning to your quarters, he passed out on the couch. He could not face you, even on his last night aboard.

You lay in your bed, curled up with your daughter holding on to the last good thing in your life. The thoughts that were running through your mind now were sad and dark. Your husband could not have been bothered to spend any time with you or his child before he left in the morning. Perhaps this was the way it was supposed to be.

 

The morning was a mess of emotions and activity. You had been called to sickbay early for an accident from one of the labs. It left little time to talk to Leonard. He had taken care of Analynn that morning, getting the time in he could with her. Just as your shift ended and the time to dock at York Town came close, you were dreading going back to your quarters. You were completely unsure of how this was going to proceed from here. Would your relationship survive everything that was going on?

“Doctor [Y/N] McCoy to the bridge.” You comm went off just as you were leaving sickbay. Someone better be dying up there.

“On my way.” Everyone looked to be healthy and intact when you arrived. Jim nodded his head towards his office with Spock following close behind.

“[Y/N] I know you are supposed to be sending that stubborn old ass off, but we have a problem.” Taking a seat you listening to Jim and Spock explain the mission that they had just be given. Two science ships had disappeared within the last week close to the Romulan border. The Enterprise would be going out to discover what may have happened and if possible rescue any survivors. The mission was classified as dangerous and would require all non-essential personnel to disembark. That included your daughter.

As you sat in silence for the moment, Jim looked over at you with sympathy. “I know you don’t want her to leave, neither do I but I will not risk her life on this mission, [Y/N]. I love that kid too, you know.” There was no way to argue with him. You did not want to endanger Analynn either. However, it was going to rip your heart to shreds watching her and Leonard walk off the ship today.

“After this mission, Jim…”

“I know. After this we can figure out what to do with you.” Leaving both men in the office you went back to your quarters to prepare Analynn for her trip off the ship. Leonard was sitting on the couch making faces at her when you entered. When he caught sight of your expression, he frowned.

“The day that bad?”

“Awful.” He waited for you to elaborate but sighed when you walked off towards the bedroom. His bags were on the bed, all ready to go. Pulling another bag from the closet, you started to fill it with your daughter’s belongings. You were unsure of how long this mission was going to be, and you wanted Leonard to have everything he needed to take care of Analynn. After a few moments, he came into the room holding a babbling baby over his shoulder.

“[Y/N] what are you doing?”

“Leonard you have to take her with you… We have been given a mission and all non-essential will be evacuated from the Enterprise as soon as we dock at York Town in a few hours.” His eyes went wide.

“Evacuated? Why in the hell would they need to be evacuated? What kind of mission is this?” It was the most emotion you had heard from him in weeks.

“A search and possible rescue mission close to Romulan space.” The last of her things you packed was Analynn’s favorite blanket. Bringing it up to your nose, you inhaled long trying to memorize her sweet smell. A lump grew in your throat as you shoved it into the bag, zipping it up before you were unable.

“The Romulans? [Y/N], that’s suicide. They rarely take prisoners, you know that.” Moving close he pulled you against him, avoiding pressing too hard on the baby.

“I don’t have a choice, Leonard. We are going and they will need my help. Just take her and be safe please. I don’t want to have to worry about you.” He lightly kissed the top of your head.

“I’m not the one that needs worrying about. You are the one going on this fool mission. You had better come home safe. Or I will personally come back out to kill Jim myself.” He sounded like the old Leonard again. Someone you missed dearly.

The two of you finished what you needed to make sure they were both ready to go. You did not want to let Analynn go as you stood with Leonard and the tens of others who were waiting for the final docking clearance in the bay. Tears streamed down your cheeks as you tried to wipe them away. Once the orders were given, the docking bay door opened and everyone started to move down the gangways. Slowly you handed your daughter to Leonard. Jim stood not far behind you knowing you would need a shoulder as soon as Leonard was out of sight. Leonard leaned down gently taking her from you before pulling you close to kiss you.

“Come back to me. I promise we will fix this mess and be happy. Just come back.” Nodding was the only thing you could do; there was no way you would be able to utter a word without a sob coming out. Biting your tongue to keep from crying after him to stay, you watched Leonard and Analynn walk away to the safety of York Town.

After everyone had left and the doors closed you allowed the cries to escape as Jim put his arm around you. “We will get you back to your family, [Y/N]. I swear it.”


	16. Chapter 16

“We will get you back to your family, [Y/N]. I swear it.” Jim’s words echoed over and over in your mind since the day before, when the bay doors had closed. One consolation to it was that you had received word from Leonard that he and Analynn had made it safely to his mother’s house. They were safe, away from the Enterprise and the mission, it had embarked on. Starting this morning at 0500, the crew was on radio silence from anyone other than Starfleet. No personal transmissions were permitted. 

Jim had been speaking back and forth with Command, gathering what information he could so the senior team could formulate their plan. There had been no word from either the Aurora or the Lavanda. The odds of finding them intact were dwindling with each passing moment. The mission would be modified to a salvage operation if it came to it. With only two doctors now on board it was imperative that sickbay was prepared for whatever came its way. Every room was over-stocked with supplies in preparation for mass casualties. You and M’Benga switched off shifts to ensure that you were both rested as you could possibility be. There would be no telling how long either of you would be awake if and when survivors were discovered.

By the third day of the mission, you were almost to the point of crawling out of your skin. Leonard and Analynn were gone, leaving you to miss them desperately. Never did you think you would have to be separated for so long from them. Even with the issues you and your husband were having towards the end, this was torture without him. When you got back home… I guess you would have to throw an if in there as well; you would do everything you could to make your relationship work. Even if it meant leaving Starfleet. Your job was not worth being away from your family, not like this.

Jim found you staring off into nothingness in your office when you failed to show up for dinner. It was an unsaid agreement that you would meet for dinner every night so he could keep you from losing your mind. When you did not show he went to find you. “You look lost.”

His voice pulled you from the edge of whatever proverbial abyss you were standing over in your mind. “I am. I am lost without them. I haven’t held my daughter in three days. Three days Jim…”

Taking a seat in front of your desk, he sighed. “I know, [Y/N]. It is killing me to see you like this. You are a mess I know and I wish I could do more to fix it. As soon as we finish this mission…”

“If we finish this mission, Jim. You know the odds aren’t in our favor right?” The frown he sent in your direction was very like the one he gave to Leonard, often.

“It’s scary how much you sound like Bones.” 

“I am not as grouchy as he is but you know I am right. Are we prepared to fight them? I mean really fight them?” This had been the first time you had verbalized your fear. In the time you had been on the Enterprise, sure you had been scared but nothing like this. This was the first time you truly worried you would never make it home. 

“Is anyone ever really prepared to fight? The ship is ready yes. It is what she was made to do. The crew… they are as prepared as they can be. We will do what we are trained to do when the time comes. All of us, including you.” You watched as he leaned further back in the chair, staring intently at you. He was prepared for you to argue. However, there was not enough energy in you to argue. At least not, right now. Not while your whole body was on edge, every moment prepared for what may or may not happen. It was draining.

“Yes… including me.”

Six hours later the Enterprise was within sensor range of the last known coordinates for both ships. You stood beside Jim’s chair as everyone held their breath hoping for good news. 

“Captain I am picking up one Starfleet vessel.” Sulu called out from the helm.

“Life signs, Mr. Sulu?” You watched as Hikaru’s hands slide over the panel.

“No life signs sir. The ship appears to have taken heavy damage.” A pain of loss gripped your chest. All those people gone. 

“What about the other ship?” You asked looking over at Jim.

“There looks to be a lot of debris, ma’am. I believe it is the remains of the Lavanda. The other ship is the Aurora.” The helmsman answered as he brought the image up on the screen. While the ship was indeed damaged, the hull was still intact. 

“Mr. Sulu scan for any other ships in the area. I would rather not be surprised.” Jim looked over to you then to Spock. “We are going to have to send a team over to investigate. You ready for that Dr. McCoy?”

Nodding slowly you looked back to the screen and the Aurora. “We need to determine what happened and who attacked them. I will meet you in the transporter room; let me get my gear together.”

“Good to hear. Thirty minutes, transporter room.”

It took little time to gather the gear and kit you needed. You made sure sickbay would be ready, for whatever samples or items you brought back, for analysis. It felt odd having a phaser at your hip but it was required on all away missions. Even for the doctor. Jim, Spock, and Lieutenant McAfree were waiting for you in the transporter room. “You ready, [Y/N]?”

“As ready as I can be. Let’s get this done.” Jim nodded and allowed you to step up onto the pad in front of him. The others followed before Scotty beamed the team over to the Aurora. As the gold shimmer faded, the darkness enveloped you. The red emergency lights were dim as everyone took out their flashlights. The smell was the next thing that hit everyone. The environmental controls must have shut down because the stale rank air of death was all around.

“We need to move fast. I can’t guarantee that my stomach won’t protest sometime soon.” Jim covered his nose and mouth with his hand trying to block out of some the stench.

“I agree with the Captain. It would be best if this investigation happen as quickly as possible before we are affected by the noxious air.” The group split up into two teams. Spock went with McAfree and you were partnered with Jim. Scanning the corridors showed little. Some of the halls were too badly damaged to travel through. Others were littered with bodies. Many had phaser marks, which meant the attackers had boarded the ship.

“Jim I don’t like this. Weapons killed these people. Not from the ship’s damage.” He knelt down next to you and one of the bodies.

“I agree we need to make this short and sweet. Whoever did this could be back. I don’t want to risk the Enterprise or us.” The both of you found the way to the bridge. There were fewer bodies than you would have thought, but that could have meant they were taken elsewhere and killed or perhaps taken as prisoners. “I am going to see if there are any logs from the crew. Maybe someone was able to identify the attackers.”

Just as Jim stepped towards one of the consoles, the ship shook violently as it was hit by phaser fire. You felt back against the captain’s chair before falling to the floor. Jim fell onto the back console relay hitting his head. “Damn it. What the hell was that?”

“Sulu to Captain Kirk, a Romulan Warbird just decloaked and has opened fire. We need to get you out of there.” 

“Understood. Beam us out of here Mr. Scott. Make sure you get Spock and McAfree as well. As soon as we are on board shields up and get us to a safe distance.” Within moments, you watched the familiar shimmer of the transporter take Jim. As he realized you had not transported with him he screamed for you. “[Y/N]!!!”

Spock and the Lieutenant were on the pad with him as they found themselves back on the Enterprise. Jim became frantic. “Scotty get her back. Get her back here now!”

The chief engineer worked fast trying to find you on the Aurora. “Aye can’t find ‘er, sir. Nothin’ to lock on ta. The bloody thing is being jammed.”

Jim took off in a full run towards the bridge. By the time, he made it to the bridge, utterly out of breath, he and the rest of the bridge crew watched as the Warbird fired on the Aurora. Within seconds, the ship exploded in a fiery display that had Jim screaming out, sinking to his knees. “[Y/N]!!! No…”

Everyone turned toward the captain, Nyota covering her mouth stifling a sob as they all realized you were still on the other ship. “Oh my God… [Y/N].”

The Warbird maneuvered towards the Enterprise, looking as though it was prepared to fire. Sulu ensured the shields were up, with a shaky breath he asked, “Captain… evasive maneuvers?”

“Go Sulu.” The words barely above a whisper as the tears fell down his cheeks. Before he could initiate protocols, the Warbird cloaked. Leaving only the debris of the Aurora in its wake.

“Lieutenant Sulu bring the Enterprise to a safe distance, I believe the captain needs to regroup before further orders.” Spock had arrived onto the bridge seeing Jim still kneeling and Nyota crying unable to look away from the screen.

“Yes, sir.” The bridge was quieter than it had ever been. The shock that they had lost a crewmember and friend slowly setting in.

Nyota stood walking towards Jim, slipping an arm under his to help him stand. “Come on, not here.”

He nodded, sniffing them wiping his face, allowing her to pull him to his quarters to recover. When the doors slid closed behind them he shattered. “Fuck!!! I can’t tell him. How can I tell Bones I got his wife killed?!? How can I ever look at that beautiful little girl again?”

She stood there with her arms over her chest trying to hold herself together while he raged. There was more to his anger and pain that he was letting on but Nyota could see it. However, she let him continue because he needed it.

“I promised her… I promised her that I would bring her back to her family. I could not let that little girl lose her mother like [Y/N], did. I failed in everything I did. She is gone. [Y/N] is gone and… Oh God, she’s gone.” Jim collapsed on the couch sobbing on the verge of hyperventilating.

Nyota moved to sit beside him, her arm wrapping around his shoulder, pulling him towards her. “You did not fail, Jim. This was the Romulans. They did this to her and to all of us. We all loved her.”

“I…” The words could not come, he could not say them.

“I know, Jim. You loved her. You can say it here and it will never leave these walls. I promise you.” It was something she had suspected for some time but Jim had made her proud, as he had never acted on it. Respecting you, your happiness, and your marriage to his best friend.

“No… she deserves better. She deserved… better.”

There was not another word spoken about that for the rest of the night. But, they did talk about you. Remembering all the good and difficult times since you had been part of the Enterprise family. Jim was still lost on how he would break the news to Bones. This was something he was not sure if Bones would survive through, though he had to, to be able to raise Analynn by himself. Analynn… Any time he thought of that baby his heart seized. She looked so much like you. There would never be a time that he would be able to look at her and not see you smiling up at him. Anyone that knew you would probably feel the same.

When he had finally talked himself to exhaustion, Nyota left Jim sleeping on his couch. This would probably be the only rest he got for a while. It was several hours later that he awoke with a scream. Dreaming of the Aurora exploding again and the sound of your voice in his ears, crying out for him to save you. He had to tell Bones now. He would tell Bones the awful truth, contact Command, get the crew home safe, and then he would drink himself into oblivion. 

Jim showered and changed before making his way back up to the bridge. The mood of the crew was little different from when Nyota made him go to his quarters the previous night. Somber and quiet trying to make sense of it all as they went about their duties. Spock was in the captain’s chair, standing as Jim approached.

“No, sit Spock. I am going to my ready room. I have to tell Bones…”

“I understand, Captain. When you are finished, we can discuss the information that was obtained from the Aurora. There is a lot of information that Romulans stole.”

Jim nodded as he walked towards his ready room. “Good. The sooner we finish this mission the better.”

As he sat in his chair, the dark screen in from of his felt larger. Or perhaps he was feeling smaller. Either way this was not a communication he wanted. It was always difficult relaying to family that their loved one had died. Nevertheless, this would crush him. His best friend would hate him and he lost you. There really was not a whole lot left after that.

With a sigh and a rub to his face, he turned on the screen.


	17. Chapter 17

The vid screen came to life in front of Jim. It was agonizing, the feeling in his chest that had taken residence there. It hurt more every time he thought of you. Which was almost constant now. Trying to find the right words to say to Bones was making it worse. As he was entering the code to contact Bones, Jim was interrupted.

“Scotty ta Captain Kirk.” A loud sigh and a shake of his head, Jim responded.

“Go ahead Scotty.”

“Sir… I think ye need ta come ta Engineering. There is something ye need to see.” He rubbed his face with his hands.

“Can it wait? I have something important I need to do.”

“Ehh sir, I really thing ye need to see this. Now.” Jim groaned loudly as he stood from his desk.

“I am on my way.” As he left his ready room, he could feel the eyes of the bridge crew following him to the turbo lift. Ignoring them all he left to Engineering. By the time he arrived, he found Scotty and one of the ensigns looked to be discussing something of importance over the main relay station. “Scotty this better be more than just some engine malfunction.”

“No sir, Riley ‘ere found an oddity during tha attack. Tell ‘im Riley.” The young ensign nodded to Jim as he pulled up the scans.

“Captain while the away team was on the Aurora, I was running scans of the area. I was looking to see if there were any residual energy signatures that might give us an idea of who attacked the Aurora and the Lavanda. While we suspected it was the Romulans, proof was needed. During our own attack, I continued the scanning. I found that the Romulans use a rotating beam to scan as they were attacking. It was hidden within… well maybe not within but behind their phaser attacks. They disguise the scans so that anyone watching can’t tell what they are actually doing.”

Jim narrowed his eyes as he thought hard on the information presented to him. “Do we know what they were scanning for?”

“Not during the attack sir. But afterwards when they cloaked and left.” Leaning over the station, Jim looking at the reports of the scans taken finding two particular readings concerning.

“You are taking about those readings aren’t you?” A wide smile broke over the Riley’s face.

“Yes sir. I found that just as Chief Scott was attempting to bring the team back from the Aurora.” Jim’s heard began to pound against his ribs, making it difficult to catch his breath.

“It’s a ray of hope. I want you to determine if there is any way to track the Romulans. Because if you are right and that is what you think it is… Get to work Mr. Scott, Ensign Riley.” The captain walked out of Engineering with a renewed sense of hope that he had not had in some time. With the exception of Scotty, Jim called a meeting of the senior staff to go the information and to formulate a plan.

 

The cold deck of the cell had you shivering as you rested on your side in the fetal position. You were trying to keep what little warmth you had. The shivering was bad enough that even your jaw quivered. The Romulan guard had thrown you in the cell the previous day and had left you in silence. Between the cold and your even increasing hunger, your body was exhausted. The barren cell made it difficult to sleep. In your mind, this was purposeful, as to wear down the prisoner so they would be more pliant for torture and information retrieval. It felt like several hours later that another guard arrived pulling you off the desk and all but dragging you down the corridor. As you walked, you could see other prisoners in their cells, giving hope that not all of the crews of the Aurora and Lavanda had been lost. However, rescue at this point seemed impossible.

The guard spoke not a word as he held tightly to your upper arm. You were lead into a room with a chair sat before a long table. Three Romulans seated at the table, watched you closely as you were forced to sit in the single chair. The two men and one woman were sitting board straight as you looked at your surroundings. The woman spoke first. “Welcome to the Vindel, Dr. [Y/L/N].”

“It’s Dr. McCoy now.” Adjusting yourself in the chair, you tried to sit as straight as you could looking at the directly, hoping they could not see the fear.

“Ahh yes, a human tradition of the female taking the name of her husband with marriage. It was noted that you were joined with Dr. Leonard McCoy, just over a year ago.” There was no surprise that they had access to Starfleet information. Who knew how long they had possession of the Aurora before the Enterprise arrived.

“Yes.” It was best if you kept your answers short. Though this was only the beginning. The woman sneered as she recognized your attempts.

“I am Subcommander Marril and these are Centurions Curilo and Vuldahk. I’m sure you are wondering why you are here.” She clasped her hands together on the table in front of her.

“I am curious why I am still alive. The Romulans are not known for taking prisoners often.” The Subcommander’s sharp features widened with the smile that appeared. It pleased her that her people were feared by others of the galaxy.

“This is true, though at times prisoners are necessary when there are points to be made or demands fulfilled.” It became very apparent you and the others would be used as pawns in the war against Starfleet. “Tell me Doctor… to what lengths would Starfleet go to return fifteen of their members?”

“I am not part of Command. I have no knowledge of their workings with terrorists or hostages.” Marril laughed as she looked between her two subordinates.

“Terrorists… The Romulans are not the terrorists Doctor. Starfleet has been the ones who had brought terror to our borders. How many more ships will be sent to the Neutral Zone to spy on us? I’m sure many...” The words towards the end sounded dark and low. The facade of civility she was trying to project was slowly falling.

“If you are looking for information, Subcommander, you have chosen the wrong prisoner. I am a doctor. I heal people. I am not involved in decision making or planning.”

“Oh we know exactly who you are. Daughter of Captain Analynn [Y/L/N] and Doctor Davis [Y/L/N]. Granddaughter of Admiral Sean [Y/L/N]. Your family name has come to the attention of the Empire many times over the years.” An uneasy feeling crept over your body.

“Then you know that I have nothing that can help you.” It was difficult to control the shaking that had returned. This time was not from the temperature.

“Oh you have many things that will aid us but for now you will return to your cell. When you are needed we will see you again.” The guard returned to pull you from the chair back to your cell. The meeting had left you with a lot of questions and many fears.

 

The Enterprise had been on high alert since the attack. More so now since Command had given the go ahead to engage the Romulans to get you as well as other possible prinsoners back. From the information they pulled from Aurora before it was destroyed there had been several prisoners taken from the Lavana before it was ultimately destroyed. Which they believed meant that some were taken from the Aurora as well. If the Romulans were rounding up Starfleet prisoners, there was a reason and everyone needed to be prepared for it.

Ensign Riley’s discovery had uncovered a transporter signature hidden within the phaser attacks just after Jim was beamed back to the Enterprise. Considering you were the only one of the away team not to make it back and there had been no other life signs on board it gave everyone hope that you had been taken prisoner instead of killed in the explosion. Which meant that Jim would do everything in his power to get you back. It also meant he did not have to tell Bones that you were killed in action. As of right now Leonard was still in the dark as to what was going on. Jim planned on keeping it that way until he had more information or you were safely back on board.

The ship had been moved to a safe distance from the border but was still close enough to detect any ships passing through the area. Those that were uncloaked at least. There was still no way, as of yet, to scan for cloaked ships. The Engineering crew was working hard to remedy that or find another way of gaining an advantage over the Romulans. Scotty updated Jim ever few hours as to their progress but nothing was panning out. Unless they had an actual Warbird to study, it would be near impossible to determine what frequencies were being used by the cloaking device.

After two days of no sleep and barely any food, Scotty was near collapse. Jim had to order him to his quarters to rest. Begrudgingly Scotty went but not without mumbling to himself about giving the Enterprise long enough with a Warbird. It was then Jim realized they were all exhausted and burning both ends. Without time to recharge, everyone would become useless after a while and thus you would be lost. He ordered everyone else to return to rotating schedules. Rest while they could and then eat. He felt helpless otherwise but this was at least something he could do.

If you were correct in your assessment, you had been with the Romulans for five days now. The guards changed at what you believed were twelve-hour rotations and meals brought four times a day. You had not been summoned again by any of the crew which while it was good for your safety, your sanity was another thing all together. The cells were sound proof so you were unable to talk to or hear the other prisoners. Having been lock up in the confinement for so long was starting to play tricks on your mind. Randomly you would hear a baby’s cry or voices whispering around you. Nothing that you were able to discern but you could hear them anyway.

On the sixth day, you could feel the engines of the ship go to warp. It made the terror inside you rise, as you were leaving the area and going farther from the Enterprise… and rescue. An hour later as you were curled into a corner of the cell one of the guards barked at you to stand. It was the first voice you had heard in days. Complying you stood slowly waiting for further orders. The weapon in his hand told you not to fight back. You were brought to the bridge of the ship where the Subcommander along with the bridge crew stood. A broadly shaped Romulan sat in a chair set above all of the others; you could only assume he was the Commander of the vessel. On screen was a badly damaged ship. Another Romulan vessel but it did not look like a Warbird. It looked far less equipped for battle.

“Welcome to my ship, Dr. McCoy. I am Commander Korron. I hope your stay had been most pleasant.” The guard still had hold of your arm and with the many eyes trained to your movements you thought best to nod only. “Good. As my Subcommander told you, we would call when you were needed. Now you are needed. You skills as a doctor are required for our brothers and sisters of the Carrar. They had taken a great deal of damage and you will work to save everyone you can. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Commander.” Your thoughts ran back to medical school and physiology classes. There had not been a great deal of information on the Romulan anatomy and processes but they were as similar to Vulcans as they could be, so you would work with what you knew. “Do they have a basic medical bay? Or would will the patients be transferred here?”

“You will go there and do what you can; those who are more critical will be moved here. If there is any indication, Doctor, that you are not doing everything in your power to save that crew you will regret it. Trust me there are far worse things than death.” The threat came with a firm wrenching of your arm as the guard dragged you off to the transporter room. In less than ten minutes, you were on board the Carrar. The situation was explained to the medical officer in charge and you were given supplies to begin your work.

Gathering information to treat the patients you had found it was a science vessel on similar missions like the Aurora and Lavana. They were attacked by an unknown vessel who had taken them for easy prey. While they had been able to defend themselves and run off the other vessel, the ship and crew had taken damage. Some of the crew that had fewer injuries refused your medical attention. Many stating they would rather die than have a Starfleet officer treat them. Other suggested you would try to kill them instead. Those who had been more gravely injured or unaware of what was going on became your focus instead. You worked for many hours doing what you could to say as many as you could or would allow. After a while, those who watched over you gave you more room to breathe and work. Trusting even a bit more that you would do as you were ordered.

When the majority of those injured had been stabilized, you were transported back to the Vindel to work on those who had been moved there for more intense care. The hard work you were continuing did not go unnoticed, to the Commander of the ship. So much so, when you were finally allowed to rest and have something to eat, you had been given twice the portions you had been given previously. Normally you would have thought several times about eating their food but it was close to twenty-four hours since you had gotten to eat last. You ate quickly trying to inhale what you could before they had the chance to take any of it back.

By the time, you were returned to your cell you were barely able to stand in your exhaustion. As you set yourself on the cold deck, you fell asleep. The work from the day and the stress of the time you had been there finally catching up to you. So much so that you slept for just over thirteen hours. “Wake up!”

A rough shake had you slowly pulled back to reality. Your mind was still clouded with sleep as your body ached from the little movement on the hard flooring. Another guard stood over you this time. It was one of the Centurions from the days previous. But in your current state, you could not remember his name. “Subcommander Marril wishes to speak with you. Now.”

“All right.” Was the only response you could muster at the time. This time though you were not pulled down the corridor. You were allowed on your own merit to walk just behind the man, back to the interrogation room you had been previously.

“Doctor we worried that you had worked yourself to death. You had not moved in many hours.” Raising a brow in response as you sat once more in the chair before the Subcommander. This time you were left alone with the woman.

“I had not rested truly since I had been taken. Add that to the fact I work more than twenty four hours without rest or food, my body could not keep up.”

“Your skills as a healer are impressive. You brought quite some attention to yourself by treating everyone without complaint or force.” The woman’s face was difficult to read but it seemed far less aggressive than the last time you had spoken with her.  
“Force was implied before I was transported over. But I would have done the same by simply being asked. I told you before, I am a doctor. I don’t kill people.”

“You are an odd one, Dr. McCoy. Your whole species seemed bent on taking over the galaxy. To have you not wish for any of that, is confusing.” Sighing loudly you shook your head.

“That is not what humans or Starfleet want. Nevertheless, I am not going to argue that point. It will not change your opinion or the opinion of the Romulan Empire.” Marril smirked leaning back in her chair.

“There is fire inside you, Doctor. Maybe there is more to you than what we see.” That statement had you wanting to say so many foul things that came to mind but you merely crossed your arms over your chest. She still had not gotten to the point of this meeting. “I can see you want to know why you are here. You are going to be used as a bargaining chip, Doctor. We know exactly where your ship is, three light years from the border. Lying in wait for something to happen. Tell me how pleased will they be to see you alive?”

The thought had not crossed your mind that perhaps your friends and crewmates were not aware you were alive. If they thought you were dead, you were not sure what they were waiting for. Whatever Marril had planned the Enterprise would be walking into a trap. You could not let that happen. There was no way you would allow for them to be hurt. Even if it meant…

 

The Enterprise had come a long way in the days since you were taken. After many failed attempts at finding a way to detect a stealthed ship, a new plan was developed. So when the Vindel returned to the site of the destroyed Aurora, Jim and the crew were ready to try what they could to get you back. What they were prepared for was the ship to decloak and throw its shields up waiting. The Enterprise was there within minutes prepared to fight. Sulu looked down at the readings.

“Captain… we are being hailed.”


	18. Chapter 18

“Come on kid; give your old dad a break.” Analynn continued to scream as Leonard changed her diaper. She had not been her normal sweet natured self since they had left the Enterprise. Well neither had he but they had to figure it out together. “I know baby girl, you miss your momma. I miss her too. But you got to give me a little slack here, I’m tryin’.”

Margaret came from around the corner with a sympathetic smile. “Want me to take her for a bit? I know you have been up most of the night.”

Leonard turned to look at his mother. “No I’m fine. I just want to hold her… It’s the closest thing I got to holding [Y/N].”

“I know honey. But you won’t do much good to her if you are falling over exhausted too.”

“In a little while. I want to sit with her on the swing a bit.” Margaret nodded before walking away, not saying another word. Leonard was trying to do it all to distract himself from the fact he had not heard from you or Jim in over a week now. To say he was losing his mind… he was not going to go there right now.

Analynn was the only thing keeping him sane. As soon as he stepped off the ship and watched the bay doors close, he knew he had made the biggest mistake of his life. Leonard had been so preoccupied with his own wants and desires that he had completely ignored you and what you needed. Now it felt like forever since he had seen or talked to you, and he was worried. What if something had happened to you, he would never be able to forgive himself. Leonard knew he would take living inside a tin can for the rest of his life if it meant that you were happy and smiling. Now if only he got the chance to tell you that.

 

 

“On screen Mr. Sulu.”

In an instant, the bridge of the Romulan ship occupied the screen. “It is good to finally meet the notorious Captain James Tiberius Kirk in person.”

The fact the man knew his full name was not a good sign. “You seem to know who I am… with whom do I speak?”

The Romulan laughed as the rest of his crew were silent as they stood around the bridge. Their cold stares and stiff postures relaying what Jim knew they all truly felt of this interaction. “I am Commander Korron of the Vindel, Captain.”

“Commander Korron, I am going to cut to the chase. Why did you attack our science vessels and do you have any of my people?”

The Commander was silent for a moment with a knowing smirk on his face. “Your ‘science’ vessels were spying on Romulan space, Captain. We did what was necessary to defend our home.”

Jim’s knuckles were white as they were balled at his sides. “Yes I’m sure you found it necessary to prove your might over two vessels and crews that had little defense against a Warbird. Yes the mighty preying on the weak.”

Korron slammed his fist down on his chair. “Your vessels were gathering information on the Romulan Empire. We will not stand for such acts of treachery.”

“They were gathering information on the star that is going nova in this sector. They were on the border of the Neutral zone and if you did enough research, you would have found their sensors were not strong enough to detect anything further than that star. Romulan space is five light years farther than their reach. Your people searched the Aurora and downloaded information about Starfleet and their missions; they should be able to confirm this.”

Korron had no words for this other than the sick green color his face was now turning in the response to his growing anger.

“I will take it you haven’t been told this. I mean if your crew isn’t reliable enough to relay that type of information to their Commander, you can only wonder what else they keep from you.” Korron looked over to a Romulan woman standing next to him.

“Bring her now!” He bellowed before the woman disappeared off screen. Within moments, the Subcommander dragged you before the view screen. “I believe this worthless piece of flesh belongs to you Captain Kirk.”

If Jim could have vaulted through the screen to grab you, he would have. The bridge crew all took a sharp breath at seeing you alive and in the clutches of the enemy. “She is part of my crew yes. You took her from the Aurora as you attacked. We want her back. Now.”

Korron laughed a cold dark laugh as he stared directly at Jim. “What would you give for her freedom, Captain? Or the freedom of the fourteen other Starfleet officers?”

The Subcommander’s grip tightened around your arm as her anger started to show through. This was not going to be an easy deal for anyone. If felt like a trap but you kept quiet to save the lives of the others that were held in the balance.

“What is it you want Commander Korron? Obviously something large and important to hold so many hostage.” It took everything he had for Jim to stand as calmly as he looked, for on the inside he was a raging mess that wanted to gut the Romulan in front of his crew. The Commander said something quietly to his Subcommander who dragged you from the bridge. You did not get to hear the rest of the conversation or the demands. Once off the bridge and down the corridor you turned quickly as you tried to fight back. However, a fist collided quickly with the side of your face sending you to the ground.

Marril stood over you with a scowl. “Do not think I will refrain from killing you Doctor.”

The fury rose in you quickly. You may not be a killer but it would not stop you from fighting for your life. Twisting around you brought your foot up to take out her knee, which sent Marril to the deck. Jumping as fast as you could you grabbed her hair to slam her face against the metal beneath you. Thankfully, it knocked her out on the first try. Grabbing her weapon and access key, you were off.

After a few moments of you running down the hallway, the ship was hit by some kind of fire, you could only assume came from the Enterprise. Obviously, negotiations were not going as planned. That sent the ship into chaos. Alerts sounded loudly overhead. Romulans were running to their battle stations, which forced you to hide for a little while in a cabinet in one of the corridors. When the sound of boots running over the deck were gone, you snuck out. You were able to make it to the detention area with only having to hide twice more. It would not be long before everyone was aware you had escaped but you wanted to free the others before you were found.

There were the same two guards at the doors to the detention halls. The element of surprise was the only way you could think of now to overcome them both. Physically you were no match for them but you had the phaser. Another hit to the ship had you stumble into the bulkhead as you tried to remain upright. Once you had your balance, you went for it and came out of hiding firing at the closer guard first then the second. They had been certainly surprised before they literally hit the deck.

Access key in hand you opened the detention hallway and started to work on released all the Starfleet crew. It was a difficult task in between the ship being attacked but as soon as you released one person, you went to aid in releasing the next. Ten minutes later, all fourteen were free. Now was the hard part. How would you get off the ship in one piece?

Somehow, you needed to get a message to Jim on where you were and how to get you all off the Warbird. As a group and with now five newly discovered weapons among you, you made the way from the detention hallway. An explosion rocked the corridor in front of you as the sound was nearly deafening and the light blinding. You were thrown back against someone else. The pain in your head raged as you tried to sit up. There was a buzzing in your ears, which was made worse as you moved.

The others were trying to move as well. Though you were unsure just how badly injured, everyone was. There was yelling not far off and you knew that the Romulans were coming. They would have weapons and they would be able to kill you if you did not think fast. One of the phasers was laying not far off on the ground next to one of the crewman. You grabbed it and prepared for whatever would come. If you had to die today, at least it was trying to save others. One of the other crewman followed suit picking up another of the strewn weapons. Both of you prepared for what was to come.

What you were not prepared for was the sound of phaser fire and angry screams. You looked at the man beside you as you held up your phaser preparing to defend the group. More phaser fire sounded before the stomping of boots coming down the corridor. When you caught sight of a command yellow shirt, you nearly broke out into a sob. However, you held it together as Jim screamed your name.

“[Y/N]! Thank God. Are you alright?” He pulled you close against him, hugging tight enough to cause difficulty breathing before he pulled back. “Actually I don’t have time for you to answer that. We have to get you guys out of here.”

Seconds later the rest of the team that had accompanied Jim, arrived. Chapel, Spock, and two of the security team started to get everyone that could stand up. Soon you were back on board helping M’Benga work on the injured crewmen. Once everyone that had survived, three had been killed in the explosion, had been stabilized M’Benga turned his attention to you. There was a rather large gash on your forehead and a concussion that needed to be treated. Jim had finished with his debriefing after the event and had parked himself in sickbay waiting on you to finish. He was the one to bring it to the other doctor’s attention that you had been injured as well and needed treatment.

You wanted to fight it and just go to bed but you did not have that energy for that. So there you sat with the M’Benga using the dermal regenerator on your head laceration, then for him to inject you with the medications to reduce the pain and effects of the concussion. “You are relieved of duty for at least the next forty-eight hours Doctor McCoy. Come see me at that point and I will decide if you can return or not. Do you understand?”

His gaze directly into your eyes told you there was no arguing, especially since Jim was standing behind him with that look on his face. “Fine, forty-eight hours. Can I go to bed now?”

“I want you to eat first. It looks like it’s been a while since you had a real meal.” Nodding you slipped off the biobed, heading towards the door. Jim close behind.

“I will make sure she eats. Thanks Doc.” Jim called out over his shoulder. You headed straight for your quarters quietly. There was not a whole lot you could say at this moment. That changed though when you entered the living room and the scent of your family hit you. It was the familiarity that broke everything inside you, and you collapsed. Jim barely caught you before you hit the floor. “Come on, I know [Y/N].”

He led you over to the couch before he wrapped his arms around you as you cried. It was all so much. The time you had been held against your will, unsure if you would survive, or ever get to see your family again. It all came rushing out in a way that the sobs wracked your whole body. Jim did not know what to say so he just held on. The words he wanted to say would never cross his lips, but his joy that you were safe and in his arms, at least for this moment, was beyond measure.

Neither of you knew how long you were there but as the sobs subsided you pulled back to wipe your tear streaked and swollen eyes. “Thank you for coming for me…”

“You don’t have to thank me. There was no way I was going to leave you there. When I found out you were still alive…” Jim looked down at the floor shaking his head.

“Thank you.” You whispered to him. It was the only thing you could do right now to convey even a fraction of what you wanted to say but could not at that moment. He forced you to eat something from the replicator before making sure you were tucked into bed. As much as he wanted to stay close to make sure you did not disappear into thin air or something else ridiculous happen to you, Jim went to his quarters to sleep.

 

The following days consisted of many briefings over the comms with Starfleet Command. They wanted to know every detail of your confinement. It got really old especially with the headaches that were now popping up due to the concussion. You ignored most of them but when one had gotten bad enough that you were seeing stars you figured you should have M’Benga check it out. As he scanned you, Jim came running in. “Are you alright? Uhura said you were hurting. Doc is she okay?”

“She is fine Captain. I was just completing my scan. I think she needs another few days off and some pain relievers. We should be back to Earth by that time. I’m hoping Command will leave her alone enough now to rest and heal. The brain is a very delicate thing.”

“I am sitting here. No need to talk around me. I will sleep and rest more. Just make the pain go away and I will be out of your hair.” You sat there growing more irritated by the second. The doctor smiled injecting you once with a pain reliever then sent you to your quarters. Once again, Jim followed behind.

“I talked to Bones today.” His admission had you turning quickly and regretting it instantly. Your head swam causing you to stumbled and grab onto the rail of the lift.

“Damn it Jim.”

“Sorry I just thought you wanted to know I talked to your husband. He is manic now and wants to see you. Make sure you really are okay and that you aren’t permanently harmed.”

You sighed closing your eyes for a moment. “I want to see him and my daughter more than I can say. I feel like it’s been years.”

“I know. A few days and we will dock on Earth for a week. You can rest up.”

“I plan on it. After that we will need to talk about…”

“I know, [Y/N]. I will talk to Command when we get back to Earth about the status of your resignation.” Nodding over at him you crossed your arms over your chest. At this point, you did not want to risk anything else that would keep you from your family.


	19. Chapter 19

The following days melded into one another, as you were not allowed to do much. You stayed, for the most part, in your quarters as you could hide from the crew and your friends. The exhaustion you felt mixed with the painful headaches that were still occurring had you wanting to block out life, at least for now. While your friends were trying to be comforting, it was too much. The closer you got to Earth the more your heart ached with wanting to see your daughter and husband. Jim stopped by a few times a day to make sure you were eating and not over exerting yourself. It was good to talk with him at times, but after the fourth visit the day before arriving back home you blew up at him.

“Jim! I am fine. I am not going to go crazy or have a complete breakdown.” He crossed his arms as he stared at you from the doorway.

“I know you aren’t. I almost got you killed and I want to make sure nothing else happened to you. Hell you almost died when you had Analynn. It feels like you almost slip away too often. I… I need to make sure you aren’t going anywhere.” The defeat in his voice hurt your heart. Sighing loudly you stood from the couch to walk over to hug him tight.

“We are a mess.” Jim wrapped his arms around you, squeezing for a moment before pulling back to sit on the couch.

“Yeah we are. But I think we have good reason. It’s been a helluva time since you came on board.”

“Yes it has. It is hard to believe that I have been on the ship this long… that it is almost two years since I met Leonard and started this whole insane journey.” You sighed looking down at your hands.

“Do you really want to leave all this?” Jim asked quietly as he leaned back to look at you. He could see the exhaustion and withdrawn position in which you sat.

“I need my family Jim. This has been the worst few weeks of my life. If my family can’t be here then this is not where I need to be.”

“But you want to be here, on a starship doing what you enjoy, saving lives and exploring the galaxy.” The short unenthusiastic laugh that escaped summed up your entire being at that moment.

“My wants don’t matter if I can’t have them too. Life isn’t perfect and it isn’t fair all the time. Someday I will find something else I really want to do. Until then I will enjoy my daughter and try to rebuild what I have with my husband. At this point that would make me happier than I have been in a while.” Jim wanted to say so much more but he knew it would be for selfish reasons. Instead, he nodded before standing to leave.

“We should dock around 1000 tomorrow. If you want, you should be able to talk to Bones. Command has given the okay for outbound communications now. Make sure you eat something tonight.” He was out the door before you had a chance to respond. You were not sure what was off with him, but something was definitely wrong with Jim. He was different and you could not put your finger on it. Perhaps you should be a better friend and find out what was bothering him. In the morning before you docked on Earth, you would talk to him.

That thought was pushed aside quickly as you had now had permission to contact Leonard. It was early afternoon there and you hoped that you would be able to see Analynn too. It was only moments before Leonard’s face popped up on the viewer.

“[Y/N], darlin, I am so glad to see you. I have been worrying day and night… Jim told me what happened and I… Baby I am so sorry. I should have been there. I should have…” Tears filled your eyes quickly just at seeing his face. That excited feeling started to build in your stomach knowing in less than twenty-four hours you would be able to hold them both.

“Leonard I am all right I swear. It’s over and I am coming home to you and Analynn.” That typical stubborn ‘Leonard’ look came over his face.

“Like hell you are. I can see how tired you are. Looks like you haven’t eaten in weeks. I already…” You held up a hand to stop him.

“Leonard, just stop for now. Tell me how you are and where is my baby. I want to see her so much.” He sighed before allowing a small smile on his face.

“I miss you. I’m barely holding it together trying to make sure Analynn stays in one piece. She misses you so much and I think she misses the Enterprise. Georgia doesn’t hold the same warp engine appeal that soothes her.” You laughed picturing Leonard trying to calm her with walks in the quiet nights of Georgia. It should not have surprised you that she would react like that. He called out to his mother to bring Analynn to him. Seconds later that beautiful baby girl was in his arms staring at you on the screen. When she realized who was smiling and crying at her through the monitor she broke out into a bright toothless grin.

“Oh my sweet girl! I miss you so much. You look so big. I feel like I have missed so much and it has only been a couple weeks.” Happy tears spilled down your cheeks as you touched the screen wishing you were touching her. “Tomorrow baby girl. Mommy will be with you tomorrow.”

“We can’t wait to see you darlin.” The conversation went on for a while longer before Analynn needed to be fed and you remembered you should probably eat as well. Jim would have a fit if you missed another meal. You blew a kiss to your husband and daughter before ending the transmission. The elephant that had been sitting on your chest was gone. It had been sometime since you felt like you were able to take a real breath. Maybe life would get back to some kind of normal after tomorrow. That was the thought you went to sleep with that night.

 

You were up early the next morning and had even made it to the mess hall before most of the morning crowd. There you sat with your cup of coffee and a basic breakfast counting down the minutes until the Enterprise docked on Earth. There was a small bag of your belongings packed and ready to go at the door of your quarters, just waiting to be picked up and taken with you to Earth.

Nyota slipped into the seat in front of you with her own plate of food. “You ready for today?”

The grin that was plastered on your face was going to be difficult to remove at this rate. “I have been ready since I watched Leonard and Analynn disembark the ship. After everything that happened… I don’t want to be another moment without them.”  
“Everything going to be okay with you and Leonard? I mean things were tense right before he left…” Her words trailed off, as she was trying not to bring up anything too painful for you now.

“We have things to work on, I know that. But I think this has been a learning experience for us both. I’m pretty sure we will be all right. We love each other and that is the important thing. It will take time to figure out everything. I refuse to give up on my family.” Nyota smiled leaning across the table to squeeze your hand.

“I’m happy to hear that.” The rest of the conversation consisted of what the plans would be for their shore leave. You had not thought much past seeing your husband and daughter again. The hope now was there was time to be able to spend with your grandfather, so he could see his only great grandchild through more than just the communication screen.

Once you had both finished your breakfast you went on a mission to find Jim. The journey was not treacherous nor did it take long as you found him quite easily in his quarters, drunk. He answered his door looking as though he had not slept in days and his hair sticking in every which way. “Should I ask or should I just walk away?”

“What do you want?” The tone of his voice was not one you were accustomed. It was flat and bordered on annoyance. Like hell, you would let him talk to you like that.

“I wanted to make sure you were all right. And considering it is only 0830 and you are drunk or still drunk I have my answer. What the hell is going on with you?” Pushing passed him you turned to look at him as you stood in the middle of his quarters.

“Yeah come right in [Y/N]…” Jim sighed as he turned to look at you for a moment before looking away shaking his head. “Just go and see your husband. I am really not in this mood for this.”

“Oh you aren’t in the mood? Is that so? Who is the one who kept barging into my quarters multiple times a day to make sure I was okay? Oh yeah that was you. Trust me, most of the time I was not in the mood for that.” He narrowed his eyes as if he wanted to retort something rather rude but somehow, even in his drunken state he thought better of it.

“[Y/N] just leave, please. I need time to deal with some things.” Walking over to the table, he poured another drink of a dark liquid before downing it quickly.

“Deal with some things? Jim we are friends. We have been through a lot together in a rather short time. Talk to me. I know I am not Leonard and you two talked about everything together but I am your friend too. You delivered my kid for fucks sake. I think that makes us pretty damn close.” He huffed before he sat at the table.

“Look I really don’t need a friend right now. I need to finish this bottle and then sleep for the week. That is my plan, drink and sleep. I would appreciate it if you would get out and leave me the hell alone so I can do just that, Dr. McCoy.” Jim would not even look at you as his words hit the mark, as he knew they would.

“Fine. Enjoy your leave, Captain.” Your anger was attempting to get the better of you, but decided you would leave him to his bottle. Had he been more sober the way you said ‘Captain’ would have made him cringe. Instead, he filled another glass and finished it within moments.

 

You fumed for the next hour by pacing back and forth in your quarters. Of course, you were going over the whole conversation in your head repetitively, dwelling on how you should have handled it or how you should have responded. This was something you often did. During this time you all but forgot that the Enterprise was about to dock on Earth. So when 1000 came around and the announcement was given for those crewmembers to begin docking procedures you almost gave yourself a heart attack. Scooping up your bag you ran as fast as you could to the docking bay. Considering you had not done any real exercise in ages and you were supposed to be healing from a concussion, you were out of breath and bordering on a headache by the time you got there. Neither of those issues mattered. You were minutes away from seeing your family. Many other crewmembers were there as well waiting for their shore leaves to start. Sulu looked almost as excited as you did, as he waited for his husband and daughter.

  
As the bay doors unsealed and then slowly opened you had to hold yourself together for the few minutes it would take everyone to get through. There were many excited cheers and screams as people were reunited with loved ones. It took several minutes trying to find Leonard as he stood towards the back of the group. Pushing through as you could when you finally saw him; you ran and wrapped your arms around him and Analynn. He looked a frazzled mess and the baby was screaming but it felt perfect.

“[Y/N], it’s so good...” You interrupted him with a kiss before pulling back to laugh and hold your arms out for your daughter. Analynn looked miserable but you pulled her close and rocked. After a few moments she quieted down but still sniffled a bit as she tried to calm further. “She had a bad night last night, teething or something. We were both up most of the night.”

“Maybe later you can nap and I can just love on her as much as I can.” At this point, it was doubtful you were going to let her go anytime soon.

“As long as you don’t leave my side I would love it.” He wrapped his arms around both of you, closing his eyes and inhaled. Your smell felt like home to him. You were back in his arms and his plan was to never let you go again. He was actually excited to tell you what he had done over the last week. His hope would be that you would be happy with the decision and it would be a step in the right direction to working on his relationship with you. That was what mattered to him right now. Everything else was just things that would be dealt with. The two of you stood there talking for at least ten minutes before Leonard realized something. “Where is Jim? I figured he would have made sure that you got out here safe and that he would want to see Analynn.”

Narrowing your eyes, you did not want to think about that jerk. “Probably sleeping off whatever shit he was drinking.”

Leonard was surprised at the annoyance in your words. “Do I need to go and check on him?”

“Do whatever you like… I hope he has the hangover from hell when he wakes up.” He sighed, shaking his head.

“I guess I should go make sure he is alive.”


End file.
